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Movie Review: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2

Published October 10, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the voices of: Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris, Terry Crews, Kristen Schaal, Khamani Griffin.

Rated: PG. Animated. Running Time: 1 hour 35 minutes.

My son Ethan (freshly turned 10 on Oct 2nd) had already seen Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, but asked if Maria and I would take him again, which was a very good sign. Having seen the first one, and finding it quite mediocre, I can’t say I was doing cartwheels about going, but we went anyway. The kid was right! Not just better than the original, MUCH better. Flint Lockwood (Hader) invented a machine that turned water into food. In the first movie, everything was going along great on his island hometown of Swallow Falls until the machine runs amok (the food becomes enormous) and has to be shut down. At the beginning of 2, Flint is about to embark on a new business venture with his love interest, meteorologist Sam Sparks (Faris) when we find out the aforementioned machine, is still working in the wilderness and creating horrible “foodimals” that are threatening to overrun the Earth. The residents of Swallow Falls are evacuated to San Franjose, California. Chester V (Forte), inventor, entrepreneur and Flint’s hero, has been enlisted to lead the effort to stop the machine and eventually needs help from Flint and his gang. Also back from the first movie are: Flint’s pet monkey Steve (NPH), his bushy eyebrowed, sardine loving dad Tim (Caan), chicken suit wearing Brent (Samberg), police officer Earl (Crews) and his son Cal (Griffin) and Sam’s cameraman Manny (Bratt). An eclectic group to say the least, Chester sends them back to the island, and this is where the movie really begins. The “foodimals” and food puns steal the show. There are tacodiles, watermelophants, shrimpanzees, bananostriches, and peanut butter and jellyfish, just to name a few. We learn along the way that everything isn’t quite what it seems as pertains to who’s good and bad, but the dialogue flows smoothly and the jokes are clever and aplenty. I had more laugh out loud moments at Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, than I’ve had at any animated movie in a long time.

This was the best animated feature we’ve seen since Wreck-It Ralph, which was released in November of 2012. We’ve seen a slew of forgettable kids movies since then. Like Ross, I wasn’t a fan of the first installment of this series either, but the sequel was awesome! The puns were so bloody brilliant I found myself wishing that I had come up with them myself. We had fun whispering our own bastardizations of the animal, food hybrids before the film identified them. One of our favorite characters was Barry, a live strawberry that Sam Sparks smuggles out of one of the sketchy labs they encounter. This adorable little fruity dude, has some of the most memorable lines and an addictive catch phrase. When he first meets Flint he keeps looking at him and uttering, “En woo.” All three of us had some good laughs and it’s always a good sign when Ethan wants to go see a movie again. The storyline was also well done, incorporating the ground work laid by the first movie while heading in a new, exciting direction with the plot of the second. It reminded me of the flawless transition that was achieved with the classic Toy Story trilogy. I found the overall moral of the story great too. The lesson that Flint had to learn was to appreciate and recognize his real friends. His loyal brood accompanies him to the island and he starts to take their friendship for granted.

I love Bill Hader, he stole the show at the James Franco Roast we watched on Comedy Central recently. He enjoys doing these voice characters, in addition to reprising his Flint Lockwood role, he’s had parts in Ice Age, Monsters University and Turbo. It is Flint’s ambition, awkward genius and eventual growth that is at the center of Meatballs 2. I’m not sure where I’d rank it among my all-time animated favorites, but most definitely would recommend you see it in the theater or when it reaches DVD. So many memorable characters, Maria mentioned the talking strawberry Barry; look for a scene where Barry is interpreting Flint’s speech for the other “foodimals”. Hilarious. I also enjoy Flint’s dad Tim played by James Caan. He has Eugene Levy-like eyebrows, and has his own adventure with some warrior pickles who share his love for sardines. That last line is something isn’t it? So is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, a very pleasant surprise.

I most certainly suggest catching this one in theaters. We skipped the 3-D, which didn’t take anything away from how great it was. I doubt it will be taking best animated feature of the year home (lots more of this genre to come during the holidays!), but the story is uplifting, heartwarming and seriously funny. I believe adults will enjoy this one just as much as the kids!

Ross’ Rating: 4 out of 5 Gummy Bears.

Maria’s Rating: 4.5 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: World War Z

Published September 24, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Matthew Fox, David Morse.

Rated- PG-13. Action/Horror. Running Time: 1 hour 56 minutes.

Ross has been excited to see this movie since we saw previews in theatres several months ago. I was mostly intrigued by the idea of fast zombies. We had read in Entertainment Weekly that World War Z was Pitt’s pet project; a labor of love that he single handedly propelled to a speedy finish. And it could not have come at a more appropriate time. The World has been zombie crazy over the last few years, following a heated love affair with vampires and a short lived tryst with witches. Zombies are so hot right now. With AMC’s break out hit, The Walking Dead, and the big screen success of releases ranging from the comical Zombieland (2009) to the romantic Warm Bodies (2013), we are mesmerized by these flesh eating beings. And World War Z has been the biggest commercial success raking in over $200 million! I enjoyed the movie very much, but was frustrated by several scenes of sheer stupidity.

This movie is a one man show. Brad Pitt (one man) and millions (billions?) of zombies. All you have to do is look at the cast, nary a household name. Brad wouldn’t be denied making World War Z and apparently didn’t want to share the screen with any other stars. His UN envoy character Gerry Lane, chases around the globe looking for the cause of the zombie pandemic, and he has to move fast because these undead can motor! Plus the virus changes you within ten seconds of getting bitten. Maria mentioned that I really wanted to see this movie, and as usually happens to me under that circumstance, I was disappointed. I didn’t hate it and I’m hoping the sequel is better, but it fell short for me.

The film was action-packed, suspenseful and thrilling. But, honestly, I kept expecting something more. Perhaps this is a classic example of too much hype. We probably would have been better off going to see this one in the theatre before our minds could be saturated by the praise and snubs of others. But here are a few things that chafed my ass. At one point, they come up with this horrible plan to enter a medical wing overrun with the undead. I’m no zombie expert, but per usual, these rotting corpses are drawn to noise. No one thought, “Hey, let’s distract these bastards with some loud music or explosions elsewhere.” I most certainly did. Come to think of it, ALL of my qualms deal with noise. In an earlier scene, Brad’s wife is phoning him and, of course, the phone ringing attracts the zombies. Seriously? She knows he’s going into a dangerous situation with zombies and she chooses to be the needy wife NOW!? Lastly, there is one other scene that annoyed me. We’re meant to believe that a community of people have been smart enough to build a wall over the past thousand years and just so happen to finish it right as the zombie invasion commences. But not smart enough to keep their volume down? Bit of a stretch. That all being said, it had great potential. Great storyline, a nice little twist and it entertained me.

Asking for the plot and characters to show common sense is paramount to enjoying a movie in my opinion, even when what you’re watching is total fantasy. That’s why horror movies piss me off as a whole, people are always just begging to die. Referencing the wall built around the city that Maria mentioned; beyond holding an incredibly loud shindig that worked the zombies into a lather, the choppers on patrol at the perimeter somehow missed a giant, growing, ladder/wall of the ravenous beasties. Okay. The special effects are pretty cool and there’s very little gratuitous gore, which I liked. I also thought it was clever to have the command center with survivors out to sea on aircraft carriers and other large vessels. One of my favorite character actors of all time, David Morse (Green Mile, Twelve Monkeys, Hearts in Atlantis, to name a few) had a small but important part here, and my hope is we see much more of him in the sequel(s). I didn’t read the book World War Z by Max Brooks, and neither did Brad Pitt apparently. Brooks said after seeing it, “I wanted to hate it because it was so different from my book….I never had a “Gerry Lane wouldn’t say that” moment, because I didn’t invent Gerry Lane. So I was just watching someone else’s zombie movie, which was fun.” I guess if Max can enjoy it, I should cut Brad some slack. This is definitely his baby and his vision, let’s see where he takes us.

Maria’s Rating: 3 out of 5 Gummy Bears.

Ross’ Rating: 2.5 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Star Trek Into Darkness

Published September 16, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Greenwood, Peter Weller, Alice Eve, Benedict Cumberbatch.

Rated: PG-13. Science Fiction/Action/Adventure. Running Time: 2 hours 2 minutes.

While I’m not a Trekkie in the strictest sense, (i.e. I’ve never been to Comic-Con or a Trek convention), I am most definitely the next closest thing. I’ve seen all the movies, every episode of the original and all of its spin-offs. I saw 2009’s Star Trek and enjoyed it, but for some reason it didn’t stick so well in my brain pan. The only explanation I can come up with is I must’ve been hammered when I watched. So the other night Maria and I cued it up from the on demand list in anticipation of the DVD release of Into Darkness. I thought it was awesome! And subsequently thoroughly enjoyed STID. I know some purists out there have had problems with J.J. Abrams vision, but don’t count me as one of them. Yes, the original Kahn (Ricardo Montelban) was one of the most memorable and best Trek villains ever, but Cumberbatch’s version is his own and fit the movie to a tee. What I really love about these new versions are the character portrayals of all our favorites. Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are perfect as the reluctant, opposites attract, lifelong friends Kirk and Spock. While both resemble, and to some extent, mimic the originals Shatner and Nimoy, they also bring their own slight variations with them, making the characters fresh and vibrant. Karl Urban spews a few too many “Dammit Jim, I’m a Doctor not a ……” euphemisms, but he too has captured the essence of Bones’ old country doctor stuck on a starship. Scotty (Pegg), Sulu (Cho), Chekov (Yelchin) and Uhura (Saldana) round out the crew of the Enterprise and the chemistry is easily as good as the original, maybe better. Seeing Spock and Uhura as a couple, not just oozing a bit of sexual tension, is also a hoot. I honestly think this series can appeal to Trek diehards as well as bring a whole new generation on board.

I had seen the 2009 Trek and miraculously had also forgotten it entirely, just as Ross had. I think I watched it on a date and probably wasn’t really invested. This time around I had Ross filling me in on the inside jokes, the correlating plotlines and character attributes. This made both movies a Hell of a lot more enjoyable for a trek-tard like myself. And I realized that I am marrying a nerd. A closet nerd, but a nerd nonetheless. And a giant sweetheart. He was excessively patient with all my questions and extremely helpful. Even pausing several times to explain how the plot of Into Darkness mimicked an old favorite episode of his. I really liked both of these movies, which was a pleasant surprise. And I believe I know what I find so charming about each of these films. The characters are fantastic. Spock’s emotionless and precisely analytical assessments are a welcome contrast to the rest of the crew. He is, by far, my favorite. It is a pleasure to watch his and Uhura’s relationship unfold on screen. One of my favorite scenes from STID is when Uhura is alone with Captain Kirk on the ship’s elevator. Kirk asks, “Are you guys fighting?” Uhura’s silence is enough of an answer for him and the next thing he says is, “What’s that like!?” These types of moments make both movies. The only problem is that I don’t want any of the crew to perish and they always seem to find themselves in the worst life and death situations.

Fret not honey, that’s what the red shirt crew members are for, they do all the dying. Star Trek Into Darkness is a roller coaster ride from start to finish. This crew of NCC-1701 (“No bloody A, B or C” as the late James Doohan once uttered as the old Scotty) is progressing just fine, thank you. Spock maybe a little more in touch with his human side. Chekov is a bit smarter this time around and more versatile. Uhura brings an attitude that Nichelle Nichols version didn’t possess. The Enterprise herself is sleeker, and with the progress of technology, even the beaming process is tighter. All improvements if you ask me. One thing for sure though, Kirk still gets a lot of pussy, and he has no problem if the women are green or have tails. Prefers it actually. That dude would screw a wood pile on the chance there was a snake in it! You gotta love him. I just couldn’t be happier with these movies, and I hope it’s not another four years before they make another one. For fans of the entire series, keep an eye out for a complete role reversal during a crucial point, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.” Make no mistake, STID is not a remake of Wrath of Khan. If you keep that in mind you’ll enjoy it so much more. One final note to the creators, please keep those Leonard Nimoy cameos coming. I adore that ancient “pointy eared, green blooded hobgoblin”! Thanks Bones, you quote machine.

It’s easy to become desensitized to our ever changing technology, but this is one time where I truly appreciated the quality of special effects and improvements. The beaming was better, while keeping the integrity of the original vision. It seemed as though the creators were conscientious about paying homage to the old series, while giving the film an original spin. There is a trick to this delicate balance when you revisit something like Star Trek. Impressively, J.J. Abrams and the Bad Robot crew have done this successfully…twice. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I was actually moved to tears during one scene. But then again, I am a sucker for a hardcore ‘bromance’. Perhaps I have become emotionally invested in Kirk and Spock’s friendship because I, myself, am in the female equivalent; a ‘homance’. Please reference link for verification: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=homance. Both of these Star Trek films have entertained me, hooked me and transformed me into a bona fide fan. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Ross’ Rating: 4.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

Fairly Recent DVD Release: Movie 43

Published September 5, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Charlie Saxton, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Live Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, J.B. Smoove, Emma Stone, Kieran Culkin, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth, Jack McBryer, Aasif Mandvi, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Bobby Cannavale, Kristen Bell, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Gerard Butler, Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott, Halle Berry, Stephen Merchant, Terrence Howard, Josh Duhamel, and Elizabeth Banks.

Rated: R. Comedy. Running Time: 1 hour & 34 minutes.

Ross and I rented Movie 43 on a whim. We were en route to our home from cocktails & dinner. Neither of us was expecting much at all. I remember seeing the previews and thinking, “Wow, that’s some cast” (see above listing). But then it fell off the radar. And I figured, if no one is talking about it, could it really be worth watching? The answer is: YES. The movie makes up for any later transgression in the first skit. Five minutes in, Ross and I were laughing so hard that neither of us could speak or breathe. That being said, if you don’t like immature humor, skip this one and you should probably leave my blog for good. We had no idea what to expect, but what unfolded on the screen left us bewildered, delighted and quite intrigued. Once the movie got rolling, we realized it was a series of interconnected sketches featuring some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. I kept asking myself, “How did they get all these people!” There were some promising moments of hilarity & ingenuity…but taken in its entirety – this movie was bad.

I had no idea what we were in for when we rented Movie 43, but with that cast, you had to expect something decent. I don’t know if I agree with Maria that the movie was bad. If a movie entertains, makes you laugh or cry or feel exhilarated, I think that’s enough. I will say the premise, an ever increasingly insane Dennis Quaid (playing a version of himself?) pitching his movie idea to a generic movie executive, Kinnear, is silly. The “movie” is just a series of skits. There is no way anyone could think they could make a coherent, full standing movie. However, many of the vignettes are clever and hilarious. None more than the first one, a first date for Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet. If you follow MRSRAG at all, you know that Maria and I rarely, if ever, give out spoilers, and we’re not going to do it here. But this first skit has a shocking surprise, a side splittingly funny one that keeps on giving. Beyond the great opener, a few of my favorites were, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts as parents who are homeschooling their teenaged son, complete with all of high school’s worst possible scenarios. A girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) getting her period for the first time. And Terrence Howard as a basketball coach circa the 1960’s (think Pleasantville or Hoosiers) giving a pep talk to his all black team before their first game against an all white squad. While maybe “bad” isn’t the right word to describe Movie 43, it is hard to believe the creators convinced all these “A” list actors to associate their names with it.

It was entertaining, but at times, hard to watch. I’m actually surprised that Ross enjoyed it more than me, since he has some difficulty with awkward humor. I will say that Movie 43 is like nothing I’ve ever seen. And the “A” list actors is what put some of the skits over the edge for me. Watching these Academy Award nominees and winners act out these absurd storylines was not only amusing, but shocking. It took me a full day to get over the movie. I kept asking Ross, “Was that real?”, “How did they get everyone to sign on?”, “Did I drink a lot last night?”! It is in one word: unbelievable. There were several vignettes, most of which my partner has described, that were pure comic genius. They must be viewed. But if I really look at this film in its entirety, it missed the mark. And that is truly unfortunate because it contains so much potential. Bottom line, go rent this for a $1.27. The belly laughs are well worth that price.

An extremely tough movie to review. Ultimately I have to recommend that you see it. If you’re in the mood for some raunchy, clever, original comedy, Movie 43 should get the job done. It certainly doesn’t reinvent the wheel, and it won’t end up on your Top 20 list, but it’s not quite like anything you’ve ever seen before. And, you will probably never see a larger collection of stars in one project. There is one last scene I have to mention; a skit where a man is obviously going to propose marriage to his girlfriend. “I have something I want to say.” “Me too”, she replies. “Ok, let’s say it together. One. Two. Three….” She beats him to the punch, and I almost fell off the couch! You may want to keep some pillows handy for that one.

Maria’s Rating: 2.5 Gummy Bears out of 5. (Mostly for Jackman & Winslet)

Ross’ Rating: 3.25 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Mud

Published August 22, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland, Sam Shepard, Ray McKinnon, Sarah Paulson, Michael Shannon, Paul Sparks, Joe Don Baker, Bonnie Sturdivant.

Rated: PG-13. Drama. Running Time: 2 hours 10 minutes.

We’ve been on a roll of reviewing some really predictable and extremely mediocre movies of late. If you’re a regular to MRSRAG, you know on occasion we get viewing suggestions from our friend Kevin (usually films off the beaten path), and he hasn’t let us down yet. The Intouchables was his best referral; a sub-titled, must-see that we never would have caught if not for him. So here we are again with Mud, and for the first time, we’re a little worried. The problem: the last two McConaughey movies we’ve seen were dreadful. Killer Joe and The Paperboy. Unwatchable cinema at it’s very worst. Trepidation unwarranted, Kevin was right as usual. Mud is the story of two teenage river rats from Arkansas, Ellis (Sheridan) and Neckbone (Lofland). They happen upon Mud (McConaughey ) on a deserted island while seeking a boat in a tree, deposited there during a flood. Mud is living in it and the boys want it. We don’t find out for a while that Mud is on the run from the law, but it’s easy to deduce. He’s also waiting to meet up with his true love, Juniper (Witherspoon). The boys befriend Mud, and soon a scavenger hunt for boat parts is on. No formulaic predictability in this one, thank goodness!

Those two films Ross mentioned earlier were atrocious. So you can understand our consternation with Kev’s newest suggestion. McConaughey has been on some career path. I recall a time when every movie the guy touched turned to gold; A Time to Kill, Amistad, Frailty, Reign of Fire, The Lincoln Lawyer, and a slew of memorable romantic comedies including The Wedding Planner, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, Fool’s Gold and Failure to Launch. Recently, he’s been hitting the independent film circuit, but his choices have been strange. He’s also been favoring roles where he gets to play a perverse or exaggerated version of himself, most apparent in last Summer’s Magic Mike. Mud has the usual makings of a McConaughey character: scarcity of shirt, down South townie roots and an innate resourcefulness. However, this film had an incredible supporting cast that authenticated his portrayal. The two young boys were spectacular, especially the lead, Ellis. His performance was spellbinding and heart wrenching as he realizes the painful truth of the hardships surrounding life, family and love. I also thoroughly enjoyed Sam Shepard’s character, Ellis’ neighbor & a retiree who spends most days on the river fishing. Mud had the originality, the heart and the talent that a lot of films lack in this day and age. And it is, by far, the best piece of work McConaughey has done in several years.

McConaughey, like Johnny Depp, seems incapable of playing any kind of “normal” role. Nothing wrong with wanting to be unique, but after too much of the same thing, the quirky-ness becomes tiresome. Honestly, I think they’ve both lost it. Matthew is only comfortable playing southern drawling, sweaty, half-naked, dirty, smarmy weirdos of which Mud is no exception. The difference here is, while he is the title character, as Maria has already alluded to, Mud absolutely belongs to the two boys. Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland are wondrous as Ellis and Neckbone. Two relative newcomers who I believe you’ll be seeing much more of in the future. Ellis is kind, tough, a protector of women and a romantic. He loves living on the river, and dreads the thought of moving into town, if his mother has her way. Neckbone is not quite as quick to help or believe, but he is fiercely loyal, has a keen sense of self preservation and generally ends up onboard with whatever Ellis wants to do. The boys learn some tough lessons along the way about truth and trust and love, but they always have each other in this ‘us against the world’ tale. It made me think back to my teenaged days hanging with my buds, getting into some mischief and the great feeling of someone always having your back.

Ross could identify with Ellis, while I found much in common with the skeptical Neckbone. Ellis was eager to help, while Neckbone kept a practical and level headed approach to the dubious Mud. Mud was suspenseful, touching and well executed. Overall, I enjoyed the film. It was well worth our usual Redbox stipend, which has not been the case recently. I hope Ross’ prediction is right & we see more of these two young boys in the near future. They seem to have a ton of potential and they basically stole the show. Let’s hope McConaughey plots a new course from here on out, Mud is the right direction for him. And we have to give one more note of thanks to our pal Kev again! You, my friend, have exquisite taste.

Ross’ Rating: 3.75 out of 5 Gummy Bears.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

Movie Review: Planes

Published August 20, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the Voices of: Dane Cook, Stacy Keach, Brad Garrett, Terri Hatcher, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Priyanka Chopra, John Cleese, Cedric the Entertainer, Carlos Alazraqui, Roger Craig Smith, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Sinbad, Brent Musburger.

Rated: PG. Animated. Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes.

I was shocked. Not by the formulaic plot. Or the predictable twists. What was shocking was that even with all these flaws, I still enjoyed the movie somehow. I entered the theatre with the lowest expectations possible. Mostly because I knew from previews and pre-release press that Planes was going to be a Cars/Turbo hybrid. Crop dusting plane wants to race around the World; crop duster qualifies due to glitch; blah blah blah. It’s difficult to get hyped up for the same crap all the time in these kids movies. Every storyline is about some type of underdog with big dreams. Believe me, I’m all about encouraging kids to achieve great things, but aren’t there plenty of other life lessons we can start portraying on screen. Anything original that doesn’t involve racing? Maybe a story about how hard work results in success or how being kind and generous is rewarding. There has to be some new subject matter we haven’t yet tapped into.

I realize lately we’ve become somewhat of a broken record when it comes to the lack of originality in movies, and that Planes is another in the line was certainly no surprise. Maria has hit it on the head with her assessment of Planes as a cross between Cars and Turbo. Slow snail gets fast, wins Indy 500. Underestimated crop duster……..yeah, okay, got it. Dusty’s (Cook) sidekick Chug (Garrett) = Mater. Broken down mentor Skipper (Keach) is Doc Hudson. It’s especially distressing to me because I have been saying for ages that the animated features, as a whole, are far superior offerings than mainstream Hollywood. Now, it seems, they’ve finally decided to sacrifice quality for money grabbing and that is truly a shame. I also liked Planes better than Turbo, but I’m definitely not nutting over it. Check out that voice cast! They deserve better. I really hope the studios get back to serving us the quality we’ve come to know, and stop taking advantage of our kids and the parents. We deserve better too.

Going to the movies is an expensive venture, which is the main reason we deserve better. We skipped the 3-D this time, because quite honestly, we haven’t been impressed by the use of the effect on screen. And it’s an extra 3 or 4 bucks per ticket! The only movie I have seen that truly wowed me was Jackass 3-D. Now that was well worth the extra cash because they used the effect to its potential. Shooting things out into the crowd and dusting us with faux confetti; that’s what going to a 3-D movie should be like. I want to be grabbing and dodging things. Keep that in mind, Hollywood. Planes had some indescribable charm. And I enjoyed the manner with which they executed the race. There were more laughs and clever antics than Turbo, but it fell short of its predecessor, Cars. Needless to say, this latest kids flick was mediocre. I won’t be racing out to grab it off shelves.

Ethan enjoyed the movie, that’s all that matters really. Though I’m sure even he would admit it’s not going on his all time favorites list. We didn’t go 3-D, that was a plus, waste of money. I’m going to make two prediction: 3-D offerings will decrease significantly, soon. And, sometime in the future, you’ll see a Cars/Planes release. Hopefully they’ll come up with a script worthy of the actors and the audience.

Maria’s Rating: 2.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating: 2.75 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Olympus Has Fallen

Published August 18, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Dylan McDermott, Angela Bassett, Rick Yune, Ashley Judd, Cole Hauser, Robert Forster, Finley Jacobsen.

Rated: R. Action/Thriller. Running Time: 2 hours.

In recent years an annoying phenomenon has appeared in Hollywood, the release of movies with nearly identical subject matter, right on top of each other. There was Deep Impact and Armageddon. Red Planet and Mission to Mars. The Girl and Hitchcock. Now we have White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen. We haven’t seen the former yet but we just rented the latter out of our beloved Redbox. A far-fetched, action packed, predictable hostage story that I realized half way through, was just Die Hard set in the White House. Gerard Butler is John McClane, Rick Yune is Hans Gruber. The White House is Nakatomi Plaza, Robert Forster is the inept FBI agent that sends in the troops against our hero’s advice. Morgan Freeman and Angela Bassett team up to form a composite of the sympathetic Sgt. Al Powell, and Aaron Eckhart plays the President but is really just Bonnie Bedelia as Mrs. McClane. There’s a failed helicopter assault/rescue, and plenty of wise-cracking one-liners from Butler, as he McClanes through the scores of North Korean bad guys. I loved this movie, in 1988, the first time I saw it. Now? Not so much.

Recently, Ross has been offering up insightful synopses of our entertainment. He first pegged my new series crush, Ray Donovan (Showtime), as “Soprano’s West”. And when he fixed Olympus Has Fallen as a Die Hard rehash, I knew he nailed it again. Although, if it wasn’t for Butler’s McClanesque one-liners I would have found nearly no amusement in this flick. Sure there are some action packed artillery scenes and tons of dramatic explosions, but it definitely didn’t add up to Die Hard standards. It lacked Die Hard’s effortless charm. To sum up Olympus Has Fallen in one word: forgettable. I found myself missing the days of Butler donning a red loin cloth & ball kicking some Persian dude bellowing, “THIS IS SPARTA”. I like to remember him at his best. As for the other mish mash of famous faces, I saw people who I also like to remember as their past characters. Aaron Eckhart; Harvey Dent a.k.a. Two-Face. Ashley Judd; Dr. Kate McTiernan (Kiss The Girls)…I’d have to include Olympus co-star Morgan Freeman with this film. He is the only man allowed to play Alex Cross. That last line is directed at you, Tyler Perry. Please stick to what you know – dressing up as old black ladies.

Gerard Butler is a likeable dude, and man’s man. He disposes of the henchmen well in this movie and has some pretty cool moves. That being said, I’ve always found him lacking as a movie star. I did enjoy 300 and Chasing Mavericks was okay, but he is just stiff. He doesn’t have “It”. You can’t really define “It”, you just know it when you see it. Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Humphrey Bogart, Jack Nicholson, De Niro, Pacino, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cary Grant. You get the point. They’re trying to make Butler a star. They’re trying with Ryan Reynolds too, but you can’t make champagne out of lemons. The other actors in Olympus Has Fallen don’t do much here either. For crying out loud, Morgan Freeman just played the President not long ago in the aforementioned Deep Impact, now he’s the acting President. Ashley Judd and Cole Hauser stop by for a cup of coffee. Aaron Eckhart is tied up most of the movie, probably wishing he could escape entirely. Rick Yune is okay as the head bad guy, but really he’s pretty much the evil nephew from Karate Kid 2. And his female sidekick is a carbon copy of the Asian bad girl who gets her ass kicked by John McClane in Live Free or Die Hard. Hell, that fourth installment of Bruce Willis’ series was ten times better than OHF. And come to think of it, they fake blew up the White House in that one too. Instead of renting or ordering Olympus Has Fallen, take the time to revisit any Die Hard movie, the guy in those films is a bona fide movie star. “Yippee ki yay, Motherfucker!”

Butler’s McClane tribute was a lame, “Let’s play a game of fuck off, you go first.” I’m not saying I won’t use the line, it just didn’t suit Gerry. Anyhow, OHF was a mediocre movie with a potentially decent plot that failed to execute its ideas. There were some glimpses into clever writing, such as the relationship between Butler and the President’s son, which proves to be an asset as the boy seeks refuge during the attack. It just seemed like something we’ve already seen, good guy is offered redemption, saves the day, blah blah blah. In order for a story of this nature to translate, it has to find its niche. Olympus didn’t have a niche, it just carved out a tiny little spot next to the Die Hard series. Sorry Mike Banning (Butler’s character in OHF), but John McClane kicks your ass.

Ross’ Rating: 1.75 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 2.25 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Evil Dead

Published July 26, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore, Phoenix Connolly, Jim McLarty.

Rated: R. Horror. Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes.

I hate horror movies. Somehow, I missed out on that gene that certain people, like my brother and his wife, innately possess. I, much like my two sisters, steer clear of most things described as gory and terrifying. My sister Marcia literally won’t even watch the commercials for a scary flick. I’m not that bad, but they are most certainly not my first choice of entertainment. Luckily, Ross isn’t a huge fan either. We spotted Evil Dead in our favorite renting vessel, the Redbox, and we decided that as critics, sometimes you have to branch out of your comfort zone. Evil Dead is a remake of a 1981 Sam Raimi film, which I’ve never seen. I’m sure you horror fanatics are gawking at the screen right now. It’s a story about five friends who find themselves at a cabin in the woods where they unknowingly summon demons with an evil book, you can imagine what ensues from there. It’s easily one of the goriest and grossest films I’ve ever seen in my limited knowledge of this genre. Sadly, I can’t compare it to the original, but suffice it to say, I haven’t converted to a fan.

I’ve been thinking about my proclamation that “I hate horror movies”, and you know what? I’ve realized I’m kind of full of shit. Over the years I have actually loved some horror movies, while watching through the slits between my fingers. The Exorcist, Poltergeist, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, The Ring, Scream, Saw. There are a few more I can’t think of, but I’m pretty sure I can’t say I “hate” the genre with a clear conscience. I will say that I never go back for more, i.e., I haven’t seen any of the ensuing endless sequels like Saw 7, Halloween 15 etc. I’m going to leave it with, they aren’t my favorites. Okay, so there is no way we even see this movie if not for Maria’s brother Ed. He is a big fan, and he mentioned to Maria that he heard Evil Dead was decent and she should check it out. I went along for the ride with Maria, because well, I’d go along for any ride with her anywhere, and it was $1.27 from Redbox. The movie was a gross out fest, but that is about where it ends in the “entertainment” department. I think what turned me off to these movies in recent years are the inevitable scream at the screen, “don’t go in the basement!”, “don’t run into the woods!”, “don’t go outside alone!”, “don’t open that evil book, that says don’t open!” moments. Evil Dead had all of these and more. It had gore, and….nothing else of value (if you happen to value that) in my opinion. I didn’t even have to look through my fingers if that tells you anything. “You are planning to have some scares in your scary movie, aren’t you?” Sorry, I always love bastardizing Jeff Goldblum’s line from Jurassic Park anytime I can. Anyway, these words are directly for Ed: I’m certainly not the expert you are about these movies, but my advice is, steer clear of this movie, it blows. That goes for the rest of you too.

I beg to differ. I think Ed will watch this movie and I believe he will thoroughly enjoy it. It seems like something that would tickle him. Surprisingly, I didn’t find it very scary either, but it had some parts that made my skin prickle. Mostly because of the gruesome nature with which some bloody scene was unfolding. I think that if I had the past experience of the original in my rearview mirror that I would have more reverence for this movie. I’m trying to think back to 1981, but I would venture out on a limb to say that Raimi’s NC-17 rated version must have been groundbreaking in specific aspects. Today the genre is largely formulaic in plot, gore and universal stupidity. One thing that bothered me was how they couldn’t figure out what was happening. They kept chalking it up to one character’s heroin withdrawals and then no one could put the pieces together that each individual that became possessed had come into contact with some of the evil ‘muck’. Halfway through this film I was actually rooting for people to die and disappear. Penance for their idiocy. Nevertheless, I didn’t enjoy watching it and I don’t plan on venturing out again anytime soon. To the horror fans out there, you would probably like this film and enjoy ‘The Conjuring’. I’ll be skipping that little gem as well!

In this video game era of exploding heads and spraying arterial blood, perhaps that’s all you need to make a good horror movie. I’m not squeamish about the blood, but, I need some build up to those jump out at you scares and “look out behind you” scenes. I like watching through my fingers. Evil Dead did none of that for me. It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve seen lately, that honor goes to co-winners The Paperboy and Melancholia, but it was very close. Maybe I am wrong Ed, maybe you will like it. I’m interested in finding out for sure. Anyone else out there who thinks I’m way off base, let me know, I can take it. We can agree to disagree. Excuse me now though, I have to go cut my own brain out, so I can forget I saw Evil Dead.

Maria’s Rating: 1.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating: 1 Gummy.

Book Review: Joyland

Published July 24, 2013 by mrsrag

Author: Stephen King. Crime/Mystery/A Smattering of the Paranormal. 288 pages.

Easily the best author of my lifetime, perhaps any lifetime, Stephen King has been entertaining and scaring the shit out of me for over three decades. From The Stand (my all-time favorite) to Cujo, Christine, The Tommyknockers, Dreamcatcher, Hearts in Atlantis, Carrie, The Shining, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, It….sorry I have to stop. The list is nearly endless, and I’m sure my point has been made. You’d be hard-pressed to find a person on this planet who hasn’t been touched at some point by the man’s words; in print or on the screen. We recently embarked on a colossal road trip and we made the wise decision to bring a book on CD, Joyland, with us. Set in the 1970’s in an amusement park in North Carolina, Joyland follows the story of Devin Jones, a young man working his way through college at a summer job. Sad and confused because the love of his life has seemingly cut him loose, he makes new friends and learns of some dark secrets at his new position on the midway. Devin tells us the tale of his summer those many years ago, teaching us the language of the “carnies” and pulling us into his attempt to solve a cold case murder along the way. Devin is a writer in the present, and I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that Stephen King has written A LOT of himself into the character. Joyland is yet another masterpiece of story telling from the master of masters.

I am nowhere near the caliber of Stephen King fan that my writing partner is, but I thoroughly enjoy the man’s work. I think the first King masterpiece I ever experienced was Carrie. And holy crap, what a first! I don’t think I slept for a good week. The depth of his stories and the details that create unbelievably vivid characters are a distinct characteristic of his exquisite writing. He can paint a picture so well that you feel as though you know the people and the places as he’s creating them or describing them to you. We had an added effect since we were driving right through North Carolina and other towns mentioned in the tale, both on the venture up and the trek back down the Eastern seaboard. Including an exciting stop by the writer’s home in Bangor, Maine! We hadn’t even planned on checking out his digs, but we literally were in the neighborhood. The story was also markedly enhanced by its reader, Michael Kelly, known for numerous acting gigs on some small and big screen features. You’ll recognize him, but it’s hard to describe one specific role he’s played…

This guy is really good. We’ve listened to our share of audiobooks and Kelly was by far the best reader ever, his different voices for both male and female characters alike were spot on. It truly improves an audiobook experience when you have an entertaining reader who cares about the integrity of the story. King does so much research for his novels and this is evident in the way he nails down specifics like the jargon between carnies. I found Joyland suspenseful, exciting, intriguing and intelligently delivered. It was an excellent choice for our trip and would be a great decision if you find yourself bored in the car.

We listened to, and ripped via review, Fifty Shades of Grey. Beyond being some of the worst writing in history, the woman who narrated the story was abysmally putrid. Michael Kelly was nothing short of phenomenal on Joyland. Of course, he was working with light years better material, but you could feel that he was invested in the story. The narrative flowed so naturally that I was totally immersed in it. Devin Jones is a good guy, trying to do the right thing, and you’re right there with him every step. Nothing too creepy or scary in this one; when all is said and done you’re left with a good, old fashioned, twisting murder mystery. Well mostly, but with a few Stephen Kingian ghosts thrown in for good measure. I loved trying to figure “whodunit”, and did a pretty good job I might add, though not without a bit of waffling. Also, it was truly a kick seeing SK’s house in Bangor. Nice, big, but not pretentious, and nary a feel of foreboding while standing in front of it. The only glimpse of anything dark were the bats on the fence, and they were cool not scary. I couldn’t thank the guy enough for the hours and hours of joy he’s given me through his books and movies. And Joyland is right there with some of his best, as he proves again, that he doesn’t NEED to shock or scare us to keep our attention. But damn, he is sooooo good at it.

He is truly a master of his craft. One of my favorite things about King is how he examines a different perspective of the human condition in each of his tales. Joyland examines the difficult nature of growing up; coming-of-age while dealing with the trials of love, the emotional impact of loss and the certainty of death. King seems to have a deep understanding of all these experiences, which is why he can deliver his message with such clear conviction. Whether you give it a listen or a read, Joyland is a thrill ride you don’t want to miss.

Ross’ Rating: 5 Bookmarks out of 5!

Maria’s Rating: 4.5 Bookmarks.

Movie Review: Turbo

Published July 23, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the Voices of: Ryan Reynolds, Paul Giamatti, Michael Pena, Samuel L. Jackson, Luis Guzman, Bill Hader, Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph, Richard Jenkins, Ken Jeong, Michelle Rodriguez.

Rated: PG. Animated. Running Time: 1 hour 36 minutes.

Honestly, Ross & I were not expecting too much from this one, but Ethan was intrigued when we peeped previews before Despicable Me 2. The premise didn’t really appeal to either of us. Snail wants to be fast, snail becomes fast, snail competes at Indy 500. It’s a unique concept, but centered around things I’m not very interested in. However, it surprised me to some extent and ended up surpassing my expectations. The story had an encouraging and uplifting message: Follow your dreams. But the message was delivered with a noticeable lack of laughs and the final result was underwhelming. The tale begins in a garage bordering a lush garden of red, ripe tomatoes. Our main character “Turbo”, or as his snail kin call him, Theo, is watching car racing on a small television. He has a race track set up and he is working on improving his lap time of 2 minutes, while playing out his ‘speedy’ fantasy. His brother instructs him to get some rest for a big day of work that’s ahead of them. The snails travel in force, but slowly, toward the garden where they harvest the fresh tomatoes and send the duds hurtling toward “Turbo”, who is having a difficult time dodging the fleshy, large orbs. He vocally daydreams about racing as he completes his daily tasks and the other snails castigate him for what they believe to be a fruitless dream. But can we blame them…he is a snail – one of the quintessential slow creatures of the Earth.

Snail ends up falling on drag racing car, gets dose of nitrous, becomes super fast. Turbo was mildly better than I expected, but still very mediocre. And as Maria pointed out, seriously lacking in the humor department. Ethan seemed to like it which is the most important thing really. I’ve made this point before, the bar has been set so high for animated films that when you see one that is not spectacular, it is a major disappointment. That being said, even though Turbo was an average offering, I was okay with it because my expectations weren’t very high going in. My favorite part of the movie was Turbo’s sidekick snails which included Samuel L., Snoop and Maya Rudolph (think Lightning McQueen’s pit crew). Michael Pena as Tito, Turbo’s manager of sorts, was okay as well. Just a mostly forgettable hour and a half, but not so bad you want to demand your money back. If it’s a rainy day and you literally have nothing else to do with the kids, maybe point the car toward your local theater. Maybe. But you know, bowling can be fun too.

The bar is really up there, so it’s understandable when one of these kids movies doesn’t make the cut as one of the elite. With so many classics in the rearview mirror, the more recent stuff starts to blend together. The theme of this film echoed that of many other animated features, but without the clever writing and entertainment. Perhaps if I were a die hard car racing fan I would have found the plot more enticing. It felt like a convoluted concoction of Epic, Cars and Antz all mixed up into one picture. Turbo was good for a few smiles and for entertaining Ethan throughout the afternoon. He enjoyed himself and as Ross said, that’s what really matters. If I were you, I’d skip the theatre on this one and wait for the DVD release. You’ll save some cash and your precious time.

Actually, I have another idea. Go see Despicable Me 2 again, that movie is awesome! Hey, if you love auto racing, Turbo is worth a watch. Also, figuring out who the voices are is a fun game, I nailed Richard Jenkins in this one, a decent snipe. And if you are into motorsports, keep a sharp ear to see if you can ferret out Mario Andretti and Dario Franchitti. Or you could take Maria’s advice, wait for video.

Maria’s Rating: 2 Gummy Bears out 5.

Ross’ Rating: 2.5 Gummies.