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Recent DVD Release: Jack the Giant Slayer

Published July 17, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Ewan McGregor, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Ewen Bremnar.

Rated: PG-13.  Adventure/Fantasy.  Running Time: 1 hour 54 minutes.

 

Can’t say I was dying to see this one, but when it showed up in our Redbox, I thought it might be fun to watch with Maria and Ethan.  You know, because he is a PG-13 veteran now.  It started with Jurassic Park in re-release, then on our vacation his sisters had him watching a Jim Carrey marathon of Dumb and Dumber and a couple of Ace Venturas.  I capped that off with Stand by Me, so I figured he could handle some CGI giants, and he did.  This new take on a very old fable was really not so bad.  In this rendition, Jack (Hoult) isn’t so much a boy rube being bilked out of the family cow.  More like an almost grown man with a sense of adventure.  There is a Princess (Tomlinson) injected into the story, and Jack climbs that bean stalk more on a rescue mission for love, than to redeem himself by stealing the Golden Goose.  Also, he is not alone on his climb, as the King (McShane) has sent his best men along.  The highly virtuous and likeable Elmont (McGregor) and the sinister Roderick (Tucci at his evil best) among them.  Finally, Jack doesn’t have to deal with just one giant, but a whole community of them.  By the way, Nicholas Hoult is nearly unrecognizable from the kid who played opposite Hugh Grant in 2002’s About a Boy.  It’s hard to believe that frumpy, chunky kid grew into this tall, good looking man who is dating Jennifer Lawrence.  And if you have never seen it, About a Boy is great!  Rent it or watch it the next time you see it on HBO etc.

Hoult and Lawrence have had an on again, off again love affair since their meeting on X-men First Class, which is where I first sniped him as Marcus from About A Boy.  Recently, I’ve seen the kid everywhere including another film I skipped in the theatre, Warm Bodies.  His lady love has been dominating box offices with her role as Katniss in the Hunger Games trilogy and a critically acclaimed, award winning portrayal of a young widow in Silver Linings Playbook.  Hoult hasn’t seen the same overnight boost of success.  Unfortunately, Jack the Giant Slayer didn’t kill at the box office, but it had some developmental and production hiccups.  The most widespread explanation is the conflict between the director’s darker vision for the film and the studios desire to make it family friendly.  They landed somewhere in the middle with a PG-13 rating, which drastically pigeon holed their target audience.  This indecision greatly affected the final product as well.  I enjoyed it, but it oozed the mediocrity of a compromise.

I didn’t realize they were intending to make this an R-rated horror movie, but now that I do, I can see it for sure.  There were some pretty nasty giant, eating people scenes, that were implied.  Edited down, sans gore no doubt.  Jack the Giant Slayer for the most part kept me entertained, which is an endorsement of sorts in this day of movie making.  A couple performances of note: Ian McShane played the King quite subdued, which is unusual for Ian, and it worked well.  My favorite though was Stanley Tucci’s conscienceless Roderick.  Honestly Tucci has always been one of my favorite actors.  One of the few who can excel at good guy parts as well as bad.  He was SUPER creepy as the serial killer in The Lovely Bones.  A persistent thorn in Tom Hanks’ side in The Terminal.  Fantastic as a budding restaurant owner opposite Tony Shalhoub in Big Night.  And he pulls off gay just fine in The Devil Wears Prada, and to a lesser extent, in the current Hunger Games trilogy.  He really is one of the most underrated actors of this generation.  Final thoughts on JTGS:  Nicholas Hoult has an easy likeability that may just serve him well going forward.  Tucci is Tucci.  And the CGI giants are simultaneously cool and gross.  It’s not going to go down in history as a classic, but spending a $1.27 at Redbox?  You could do worse. 

I agree that it was worth a watch.  My personal favorite was Ewan McGregor’s determined Elmont.  I found the chemistry between him and Jack very genuine.  McGregor has always been one of my favorites and I thought this role was out of his usual comfort zone.  He still emanated his usual trappings of breathless charm and clever wit.  Tucci is great, as always.  And I agree with Ross, this Hoult kid has a promising future, as long as he finds the right vehicle.  He should most definitely take a cue from his gal pal and maybe try the independent film circuit.  Sadly, the film as a whole was riddled with problems that kept it from commercial success.  The MPAA rating was an accurate indicator of what my rating will be…somewhere in the middle.

Ross’ Rating:  2.75 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating:  2.5 Gummies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Movie Review: Despicable Me 2

Published July 11, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the voices of: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Benjamin Bratt, Miranda Cosgrove, Russell Brand, Ken Jeong.

Rated: PG.  Animated/Comedy.  Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes.

We’re back from our epic road trip, Florida to Maine and back.  We had a great time with stops including Connecticut, Rhode Island and New York.  We saw family and friends, went to a wedding, ate lobsters and drove – a lot.  Through it all Ethan was magnificent!  I’m positive you couldn’t find a 9 year old anywhere who could’ve taken all the driving better.  Anyway, while we were gone, we took a day and went to see Despicable Me 2.  One of our best decisions for sure.  It was at least as good as the original, maybe even better!  Bad guy turned good guy dad, Gru (Carell) is being courted by the AVL, Anti-Villain League, to help capture a powerful new criminal who is threatening the World.  Gru jumps at the chance to get “back in the game.”  Along the way he gets a partner/love interest in Lucy (Wiig) and their chemistry is at the heart of the movie.  The three girls are adorable as usual, and the oldest Margo (Cosgrove) has an interest in a boy that gets Gru’s attention in a way that any father of a girl will surely understand.  The search for the super villain takes some interesting twists and turns, and the whacky Minions are always there to provide their wonderful brand of slapstick humor.  The movie never stops delivering from start to finish, and I for one, can’t wait to see it again!

As some of our regular readers may know, I am a child of the ’90’s Disney classics.  Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King…these are the movies I was raised on and they seriously set the bar for any of the more recent instant classics, such as the Toy Story films, Cars, Wall-E, UP, etc. etc. etc.  So, when Ross told me to give Despicable Me a shot, I had some high expectations.  He said it was one of his recent favorites and incredibly cute.  We were far apart at the time and I was home sick from work that day.  I immediately loved it.  Carell’s over the top villain voice, Brand’s undetected Dr. Nefario and those three little girls.  I could just eat little Agnes right up, she’s so freaking adorable!  “It’s so FLUFFY!!!”  I laughed out loud, I cried like a little bitch and it honestly made me feel better.  I guess it’s unsurprising that I just as easily took to the sequel.  Despicable Me 2 has the same unforced charm, clever cookiness and heart warming storyline that made me fall in love with the first one.  I don’t know if it was better, but it was very good.  The plot focused on thwarting an evil mastermind’s plan, but mainly it was about setting Gru up with a suitable mother for his lovely daughters.  This one is perfect for the kids and I can tell you that the two young viewers that accompanied us thoroughly enjoyed themselves.  Hannah and Ethan are both 9 and they were thrilled with the finished product.  Except perhaps that one scene when the evil guy is testing his serum on bunnies…the girl loves bunnies.

Hannah is a hoot, it’s too bad we only get to see them a couple of times a year because Ethan and her get along so well.  And the girl really does love bunnies.  Despicable Me 2 is crushing at the box office.  It has singlehandedly pulverized the life out of Johnny Depp’s Lone Ranger, as I’ve heard they’ve already cancelled plans for a sequel.  It’s no surprise really, DM2 is that good, and its appeal is just as strong for adults as it is for the kids.  I wouldn’t be shocked to see it win best animated feature at the Oscars next year.  I know it’s early for a prediction like that, I’m sure there will be many more worthy efforts between now and March.  But, they better be damned good because Gru, the girls and the Minions have thrown it down baby!  I only have one complaint and it has nothing to do with the content.  It’s the frigging 3D.  I know we bring it up often, but I’m sorry, it’s a tremendous waste of money.  I’m positive I would’ve enjoyed the movie just as much in a conventional theater.  The best/only 3D effects were after the movie was over and the Minions had their now familiar vignettes during the credits.  Hey Hollywood, enough already! 

I hear ya there.  I’m tired of paying extra for two or three thrills.  If you’re going to make the movie 3-D, make it worth my while.  The Minions are entertaining at the very end, but I think we could splurge and put a few 3-D thrills into the meat of the movie.  Moving on, DM2 was a pleasure.  It was well worth the price and a day of our vacation.  The kids had a blast, Ross & I enjoyed ourselves and we may even go see it once more before it leaves theatres.  There’s something extremely unique about these movies.  And we all love watching a bad guy turn good, especially Ross.  It’s literally his favorite thing about a film.  An evil villain turned dad, AVL spy & loving husband.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  Catch this one while you can and bring along the kids.

Ross’ Rating: 4.75 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

mins

Movie Review: This Is The End

Published June 14, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Emma Watson, Michael Cera.

Rated: R.  Action/Comedy.  Running Time: 1 hour 47 minutes.

Wow. Gratuitous cock shots. Celebrity drug use. Ridiculously bawdy humor. It’s like Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg somehow got the combination to the safe containing my dream movie. The last comedy that had the feeling of an early Christmas just for Maria was Step Brothers. That being said…if you’re not a fan of watching witty celebs get fucked up and make lots of jizz jokes, you should most likely skip this feature. There are countless mentions of dicks, butt holes, cocaine, ecstasy, weed and jerking off. But what else do you expect? It’s an R rated comedy about the apocalypse featuring the dudes listed above. I on the other hand profusely enjoyed myself and laughed to the point of crying. This original film was Worlds away from anything I’ve ever seen. And the entire story is so ludicrous, but laced with moments of true sincerity. This is how these guys really talk to each other…it’s just an exaggerated version.

Let’s be clear, full frontal male schlong is big these days.  Magic Mike, Da Vinci’s Demons, Game of Thrones, Michael Fassbender in Shame; the “member” list goes on and on.  No one, however, has shown demon dick like This Is The End.  I’m talking about a two hundred foot tall, burning, horned devil with a major swinger.  Also, since the turn of the century, no subject has been more popular at the movies than end of days.  Whether it’s zombies, plagues, aliens, natural disasters, meteors or good old-fashioned bible shit, Hollywood loves to kill, or attempt to kill the planet.  But nobody has ever seen or done anything like This Is The End.  That the entire ensemble are all playing versions of themselves is incredibly original.  The humor is exactly at the level of raunchiness you would expect from this group and it is at times hilarious, but there is also an extremely hard edge injected into the mix that is unexpected and to me at least; a touch disconcerting.  Definitely not enough for me not to have enjoyed myself thoroughly, just a bit of seat squirming.  Like Maria alluded to, if you can’t handle or don’t like serious off color humor, drug use and blood, you should probably skip it.  For the rest, go see This Is the End, Michael Cera’s performance alone is worth the price of admission!

Cera is fantastic.  And it’s really funny because we’ve been watching all the old Arrested Development episodes and he still has such a baby face!  I found this movie incredibly entertaining.  I was captivated by what would happen next and what the characters might say.  It would be a daunting task to name all of the cameos that occur, but there are some very memorable ones!  If you’re debating whether to wait for this one on DVD or go to the theatre, I strongly suggest catching it on the big screen.  It makes a lasting impression and still has me giggling days later.

Just a few other performances of note.  Emma Watson is very un-Hermione like.  James Franco does a perfect…well, James Franco.  Danny McBride is deliciously vile.  And finally, keep an eye out for a brief but very brave and stomach turning appearance by Channing Tatum.  All I can think to say is: eww!!

Maria’s Rating:  4.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating: 3.75 Gummies.

 

 

Recent DVD Release: Cloud Atlas

Published June 13, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugo Weaving, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Xun Zhou, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, Keith David, James D’Arcy, Davis Gyasi, Susan Sarandon and Hugh Grant.

Rated: R. Adventure/Drama/Science Fiction. Running Time: 2 hours 52 minutes.

Let me begin by saying, I couldn’t wait to see this movie. We missed it in the theaters, and when it showed up in our Redbox yesterday, I was psyched. Maria wasn’t nearly as excited as I was, but she’s always a good sport, so it was dinner and Cloud Atlas. I knew we were in trouble very quickly. It’s nearly impossible to capsulize the plot, truly. Suffice it to say, Cloud Atlas makes Inception seem like a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. It jumps around from one time to another with reckless abandon. The actors all play numerous roles, in some they’re good, in some bad. If you’re a fan of Game of Thrones, you know that series has a dozen story lines that they address in any given episode. GoT is a one man Broadway play compared to Cloud Atlas. And if the breakneck speed of changing ages and landscapes isn’t enough, in one of the settings they’re speaking some kind of bastardized language that’s reminiscent of Jar Jar Binks’ blatherings in Star Wars. Eventually, the movie somewhat ties up all the plotlines, but it’s WAY too late. If you want the “true-true”, stay far away from this nearly endless epic tale, far away and with extreme prejudice.

Fifteen minutes in and I was already feeling overwhelmed, overworked and unimpressed. My brain was hurting from trying to keep track of who, what, when, where and why. I admit when I first peeped previews of this film I was intrigued and excited. For one, it was pitched as a ‘Wachowski’ film (the people who brought us The Matrix). It also seemed to explore certain spiritual themes that I am somewhat familiar with. I’m not a very religious type, but I do believe in something and I’ve found some past lives writing quite interesting. My personal favorite was a suggestion of my good friend Kate Doyle, “Many Lives, Many Masters” written by Dr. Brian L. Weiss (READ THIS!). It’s a fantastic read and raises some important questions about the meaning and mysteries of life. Cloud Atlas courageously explores these same concepts, but fails to make a lasting impression. It has glimpses of greatness, but then drags the viewer into an exhausting montage of times and places. Just enough to drain all of the heart and magic out of this film. What really annoyed me about this movie was that it had the potential to be wonderful, but eventually couldn’t get out of its own way. They missed the mark and apparently missed the day of class when the instructor went over the KISS principle. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.

When it comes down to it, I’m a pretty fair Sci-Fi nerd. I love everything Star Trek, The Matrix Trilogy, X-Files, Fringe. To a lesser extent, Star Wars, Transformers, Inception. And it remains one of my favorite genres. Maria mentioned the Wachowski influence, and that was promising to me because The Matrix was fantastic. Cloud Atlas is extremely clever and deeply thought provoking, which is generally a perfect formula for me. However, it is also long and convoluted and despite everything that’s going on; boring. Hey, I’m not MENSA material, but I’m no schlub either. I don’t think it’s conceited of me to say that I’m smarter than the average bear, but Cloud Atlas had my head swimming and my brain just drowned. As I pointed out, near the end the writers did endeavor to make a little sense of the previous two and a half hours of chaos, but by then I just didn’t care. The movie was filled with some of my all-time favorites, Hanks, Weaving, Broadbent, Grant, and they did their jobs as well as they usually do. Unfortunately, the maelstrom that is Cloud Atlas just swallowed them whole. If indeed I’m not intelligent enough to enjoy Cloud Atlas, then I say “ignorance is bliss!”

Obviously, we both did not enjoy this film. However, there were some positive aspects. The visual effects were awesome and the overall theme was meaningful. I also had a special affinity for the character of Mr. Meeks, an elderly nursing home resident who only speaks the words, “I know, I know”…for the majority of the film, until he needs to save himself and his friends from a certainly bleak future. Sadly, these few things were lost in the Uber mindfuck that is Cloud Atlas. I can’t imagine you’d consider wasting several hours on this flick after reading this glowing review, but if you dare – perhaps some research into the plot will benefit you. After conducting a mild investigation to fill in the details for our piece, I read a two sentence synopsis that shed more light on the story. I usually like to have a grasp of what’s going on in the beginning, middle or end of a movie. Yet, even now I have questions. The most pertinent one being, “Why did we watch this?”

Ross’ Rating: 1.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 1.5 Gummies.

Movie Review: Epic

Published May 28, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the voices of:  Colin Farrell, Beyoncé, Josh Hutcherson, Aziz Ansari, Amanda Seyfried, Chris O’Dowd, Pitbull, Jason Sudeikis, Steven Tyler and Christoph Waltz.

Rated: PG.  Animated.  Running Time: 1 hour 42 minutes.

It’s been a while since a kids movie has graced the big screen, so we decided to bring our boy (age 9) with us for a peek at Epic.  And although it sported the usual makings of children’s fare, I genuinely enjoyed it.  We see so many of these movies that it’s hard not to dwell on the formulaic plot lines and clever double entendre.  But occasionally you can lose yourself in one and overlook the commonality to discover something fresh about it.  Epic has a very creative storyline with a basic, but important, lesson for viewers.  It also has some decent laughs that appeal to both young and old.  I have to give a film credit if it induces Ethan to poke either Ross or myself with the ‘Wow, that was funny…did you guys think that was funny?’ routine.  And if he recites any of the lines on the car ride home, that’s usually a sure fire sign that the jokes were pretty good.  Both of these applied in this case.  The plot centers around a hidden World that exists in the forest.  The life of the forest is comprised of flowers, trees, leaves, insects and tiny people, including a powerful Queen.  Queen Tara (voiced by Beyoncé) is graceful and has a special power that brings life wherever she desires.  She makes the flowers bloom, revitalizes dead plants and unites her people to the cause of keeping the forest vibrant, but most importantly alive.  Her nemesis is a scary looking miniature named Mandrake (voiced by Waltz), donning a rat carcass cloak and wooden staff.  His only passion is killing the forest and spreading the gray, haggard designs of his World throughout the lush greenery the Queen has sustained.  His plan is to kill Queen Tara and destroy all that she and her people represent.  It is a classic battle of good vs. evil, but fate comes into play as a regular human teenage girl finds herself right in the middle.

I’ve talked about him in our review of Django Unchained, so some of you probably know that I LOVE Christoph Waltz.  He’s won two Oscars for good reason, and in Epic, just with his voice he’s the star of the show.  One of the great bad guys of all time in Inglorious Basterds, his Mandrake is one evil, heartless dude.  And really, doesn’t the bad guy oftentimes make the movie?  Anyway, M.K. (Seyfried) is a teenage girl visiting her father Bomba (Sudeikis) who we discover has lost everything – job, wife, kid etc. because of his obsession with finding proof of the little people in the forest.  M.K. indeed ends up in the middle of the battle, and when the Queen gets mortally wounded, M.K. is magically shrunken and entrusted with an item that is paramount to the forests’ survival.  She soon meets Nod (Hutcherson , who is suddenly in everything), an irresponsible youth/warrior/love interest; and Ronin (Farrell) the leader of the Queen’s Guard who is steadfast, true, “secretly” in love with the Queen, disappointed in Nod AND looks exactly like our neighbor’s son Connor.  M.K. also has help from the snail Grub (O’Dowd) and the slug Mub (Ansari) who has most of the movies’ funniest lines.  Our group of heroes must fend off the relentless Mandrake, who needs to make everything dead and grey, just because.  The action is fast paced, entertaining, funny and sometimes a little scary.  Just what the creators wanted.     

Waltz just commands the screen in anything he’s in.  His voice is mesmerizing, his gestures are captivating and his talent is indisputable.  His presence is still felt through the animated character he is portraying.  That’s just brilliant casting to have his cold, distinct voice in contrast to Beyoncé’s warm, mellifluous tone.  Ronin really does have an uncanny resemblance to our neighbor’s little boy – Ross nailed that.  Because we see so many of these animated movies it’s easy to take the animation for granted, but I am utterly impressed by what they can do these days.  Being a child of the ’90’s Disney era, I didn’t know that one day animation would blow that stuff out of the water.  These days, the animated people really resemble people!  Not to mention the settings.  We were at home skimming through the channels and we stopped on Brave (which we have reviewed – see Archives – July 2012) for a brief second.  Even at home the visuals were spectacular and the animation was jaw dropping.  I can’t wait to see what they do next!

I agree the animation of today is spectacular (even with the 3D money grabs).  It’s so consistently good, it’s easy to take it for granted.  What is equally impressive is the ability of these studios: Disney, Pixar, Blue Sky et al, to keep churning out such enjoyable and educational stories.  The good far outweighs the bad or mediocre.  So when you come across a movie like Escape From Planet Earth for example, which wasn’t THAT bad, but is obviously inferior; it seems worse than it is.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they are reinventing the wheel with these movies, but they do make them as enticing to grown-ups as to the kids.  They fill them with life lessons without ramming them down your throat, and they make you want to see them again, which is no easy task.  Epic is another in a long line of worthy efforts.  Absolutely recommended for you, and sure take the kids along if you want.  One final note; Maria and I love to play the game of “name the voice behind the character”, and we’re usually pretty good at it.  Ethan has taken to playing with us recently and he nailed Pitbull as Bufo, a toad-like creature.  I was only average with Colin Farrell and Chris O’Dowd, easy ones.  Maria hit all the rest, including an interesting turn by Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler as Nim Galuu, a caterpillar of sorts.  This is a fun game, you should try it.  Occasionally, we get stumped and have to wait around to see the credits, for the inevitable “Oh that was so and so!” moment.  Yet another reason to sing the praises of the superior genre of animated features!

Maria’s rating: 4 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ rating: 3.75 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Jack Reacher

Published May 13, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, Richard Jenkins, David Oyelolo, Werner Herzog, Jai Courtney, Robert Duvall.

Rated: PG-13.  Action/Crime.  Running Time: 2 hours 10 minutes.

How can Tom Cruise pull off the most bad ass dudes on screen and be such a fruit in real life?  The guy is a great actor.  Just take a glance at his extensive resume: Top Gun, Risky Business, Cocktail, The Color of Money, Mission Impossible, War of the Worlds, etc.  Nobody does cool, calm & collected, bordering cocky, bad ass like Tom.  Jack Reacher is a perfect example of Cruise’s signature role.  Ross and I recently embarked on one of our long road trips, which seem to breeze by with the help of audio books.  Additionally, we had just heard from one of our trusty film sources, Kevin, that Jack Reacher was worth a look.  I spotted a collection of three Reacher novels by author Lee Child and decided the plots sounded right up our alley.  Especially after our failed attempt at listening to the unbelievably horrendous 50 Shades of Grey.  Arguably some of the worst writing of the 21st century.  Anyhow, I thought it would be cool to get a feel for Reacher as a character prior to viewing the movie.  This was a good move.  Although Jack Reacher is based on the ninth book in the series, One Shot, the three novels we listened to really gave us a feel for the tone of the story and Reacher as a chracter.  I found the film clever, witty and deliciously entertaining.  But then again, as much as I want Tom to disappoint me, he rarely ever does (See ‘Eyes Wide Shut’).

Maria didn’t mention our favorite Cruise role, as Roy Miller in Knight and Day.  Probably because we’re two of the few who’ve seen it.  Trust me on this one, rent it or buy it or watch it on HBO.  Cruise and Cameron Diaz are awesome together, and the movie is funny, thrilling, ridiculous and doesn’t take itself too seriously.  “We should have sex.  I think we’d have really great sex.”  Okay, Jack Reacher.  I had never heard about the character and the series of books until the movie came out.  Maria bought us the first three books on CD and they were very entertaining.  The insight into what makes the guy tick vastly increased my viewing pleasure as well.  In this one Reacher, an ex-Army criminal investigator who now drifts from place to place, has come to Pittsburgh to take care of a sniper who killed five people.  The guy was caught quickly, open and shut case.  Not quite.  Even though he knows Reacher would be coming to kill him (they had a history), he specifically asks for him.  Jack teams up with Helen (Pike), the reluctant defense attorney and daughter of the D.A. (Jenkins), and the truth begins to unfold.  Can you say conspiracy?  Jack Reacher is an honest man, a brilliant investigator and of course, a great fighter.  He is also a vigilante, and he will kill your ass if you deserve it.  In the books he’s 6′ 5″, Cruise is 5′ 6″, but he somehow works in the part.  The guy really is pretty frigging good.  I remember Interview with a Vampire.  No way did I EVER picture him as Lestat, but sure enough, he killed that one too!  

Cruise is definitely surprising.  And although he may not exactly be my cup of tea, he’s good at his craft.  Ross & I do love Knight and Day.  His role as Roy is quite possibly the most lovable character I’ve seen him play.  Charming and still a serious bad ass.  Tom epitomizes the Hollywood guy that you want to hate in reality.  But for some reason, I still find him entertaining on screen.  Jack Reacher is a film you can feel safe about.  I wasn’t thinking what I often do, “Can I have my 2 hours back?”  I felt invested in the story and enjoyed having someone to root for.  A classic tale of right versus wrong always appeals to me.  And this one has sequel written all over it.  I’m game, but I think I can wait for the DVD.

Oh, I’m positive there will be sequels, plural.  There are 17 more Reacher books and counting.  I’m sure there are die hard fans of the series that would disagree with me, but Cruise is made for the role.  $220,000,000 gross box office worldwide isn’t Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Iron Man money, but I’m guessing it’s enough for at least a couple of more installments.   Robert Duvall showed up late as the character Cash, a kind of Morgan Freeman to Batman-type relationship with Reacher that I enjoyed, and I hope he’s back for the sequels.  Maria and I have two more road trips planned for this summer, and we’ll definitely try to find more Jack Reacher on CD.  It’s not award winning, life affirming or world changing literature; just good old fashioned, American fun.  And he maybe a glazed over, Scientologist nut job in real life, but old mister “Born on the 4th of July” sure knows how to entertain us.

Maria’s Rating:  3.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating:  3.75 Gummies.

 

Recent DVD Release: This Is 40

Published May 1, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Maude Apatow, Iris Apatow, Jason Segal, Megan Fox, Charlyne Yi, Robert Smigel.

Rated: R.  Comedy.  Running Time: 2 hours 14 minutes.

I am a fairly big fan of writer/producer Judd Apatow.  I loved Freaks and Geeks, the series that launched more careers than my daughter Gina launches F-bombs.  And there’s Ron Burgundy, 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Step Brothers, Year One, Bridesmaids.  The guy makes me laugh, most of the time.  He does throw in the occasional dud, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Wanderlust, Five Year Engagement.  But honestly, even those sub-par efforts had some decent moments and entertainment value.  This Is 40, a quasi-sequel to Knocked Up, in that we pick up the lives of the always unhappy couple Pete (Rudd) and Debbie (Mann) and their growing kids Sadie (Maude Apatow) and Charlotte (Iris Apatow), is at the very bottom of his body of work IMO.  While Pete and Debbie were fine side-kicking Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up, watching their train wreck of a marriage and life for a Hobbit-like two plus hours, was excruciating.  Businesses failing, marriage failing, oldest daughter spoiled and screeching throughout, just very few laughs in this “comedy”.  I thought the youngest Apatow was the best of the clan here.  Iris’ Charlotte was cute, wise beyond her years, and had more sense than the rest of her family.  You know a movie is in trouble when a highlight is Megan Fox.  She does a fine little parody of her persona, and seems to being having fun with it.  This Is 40 is nepotism at it’s best, or should I say worst. 

I usually love an Apatow flick.  The endless sea of hilarious one liners from the bulk of his work have been uttered from my lips millions of times.  I had a lot of hope for This Is 40.  Cute Paul Rudd.  Bitchy, but always a hoot, Leslie Mann.  I dug their take on marriage in Knocked Up.  It rounded out that little film nicely, but on its own this story of real life problems is weak.  I mostly enjoy going to the movies to lose myself or to gain a fresh perspective on something.  There was no such lesson or shred of entertainment to be gained here.  Also, it was just strange.  Was this a sequel?  Were Rudd and Mann just supposed to play the same couple in a parallel universe?  It was all very confusing.  The moments of laughter were fleeting, the story seemed forced or stretched and the cast didn’t have its usual spark of chemistry.  And it was WAY too long.  It was like an epic tale of doomed suburbia.  This film felt like the friend that won’t stop telling you about their relationship problems, but won’t do anything to resolve their issues.  Ross is definitely right in stating that the highlight of this diddy was Iris Apatow.  That little nugget has a bright future in acting.  I am not completely renouncing my allegiance to Mr. Apatow.  I would only like to say to him: “Judd, listen dude, take a little time off.  Come up with something fresh and get back to us.  Don’t just spit movies out for the cash and to distribute titty shots of your wife.  We’ve all seen them…about one hundred times since Big Daddy.  We get it – you think she’s hot.  We do too, you don’t have to keep bombarding us with it.”

Boring, long and not funny.  Definitely three things you don’t want in a comedy.  It really is hard to figure out what they were trying to accomplish here.  Did they look at this finished product and say, “Oh yeah, we nailed it!”?  Hey, I’m with Maria, I’m not giving up on Apatow, but you never know.  Look at  M. Night Shyamalan.  The guy wows with The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs.  Then slowly drags us down into the abyss with The Village, Lady in Water and The Happening.  You could draw some parallels, both have been truly great and REALLY bad.  No, no ,no, I have faith.  Judd will be back.  My advice: give Will Ferrell a call.

I stand by the fact that on the set of Signs, M. Night & Joaquin Phoenix were drinking bad water.  It seems those two lost something after that.

joaq

How’s that rap career going?  Also, quick note to self Joaquin – write the words on the opposite hand next time.  Anyways…Apatow will be back.  Just did not have the right formula for This Is 40.  If I were you, I’d just skip this one altogether.  Your welcome.

Ross’ Rating: 1 Gummy Bear out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 1.5 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Published April 29, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ken Scott, Graham McTavish, William Kircher, James Nesbitt.

Rated: PG-13.  Adventure/Fantasy.  Running Time: 2 hours 49 minutes.

 

When the Lord of the Rings film series was released in 2001, I had yet to embrace my inner nerd.  I was still in high school and my boyfriend at the time insisted we go see it.  It was by no means a movie I would ever have chosen to go see on my own, but I was more than pleasantly surprised.  In fact, I absolutely loved it.  Legolas and Aragorn were total babes.  The hobbits were these tiny, adorable gluttons.  I wanted nothing more than to live in Rivendell with Hugo Weaving and the rest of the elves and Gandalf was nothing short of a badass.  Lest, the emancipation of my inner nerd.  The cinematography and special effects were spectacular, the story of good versus evil was captivating and the tale of the unlikely hero was inspiring.  Despite all of this, I wasn’t exactly thrilled when I heard The Hobbit was in production.  Perhaps because I thought it was odd to release it after the Lord of the Rings, when it actually precedes the trilogy.  Ross suggested we give it a look once it was out of theatres and I agreed that I could wait, which is already a bad sign.  We were both huge fans of the LOTR, so why weren’t we rushing out to go see it?  Even without our patronage, the film still broke December box office records.  I found the film to be a big disappointment.  It was missing something.  Maybe it was missing the element of surprise because we as viewers already know how the story ends.  Or maybe it just had the predictable qualities of its big screen predecessors.  Either way, I found myself dozing off during its almost 3 hour running time.  Sad, but true.

After Gandalf (McKellen), how about that starring line-up?  Martin Freeman.  Richard Armitage etc.  I’m sure they are all fine actors, but look up their histories and you’ll find small parts galore, and most of them are from the UK or New Zealand.  This tells me one thing, the CGI animation is the star of the show now.  Obviously, it was a huge part of the LOTR trilogy, and it was most breathtaking, but the reason I couldn’t wait for the next one to come out was because of the great story and the characters.  I cared deeply about them (my inner nerd has always been alive and well btw. “Live long and prosper!”) and couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen.  While watching The Hobbit, when I wasn’t fighting dozing off, all I could think was “been there, done that, seen that, and it was better before.  Much better.”  In LOTR, you had a fellowship of heroes on a seemingly hopeless quest to save Middle Earth from the purely evil Sauron, who wanted to lay waste to all of it.  In The Hobbit, our heroes are trying to reclaim the dwarves mountain home from a gold-loving dragon (huh?) who ran them off.  Not quite equal on the importance scale.  Beyond that, this group doesn’t make me root for them, or care.  This Bilbo Baggins (Freeman) is boring.  I know Frodo was no stand-up comic, but he was earnest and honest and we also had Sam, Merry and Pippin too.  One hobbit is not enough, and WAY too many dwarves.  Frodo, the old Bilbo, Lord Elrond (Hugo Weaving), Lady Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) and Saruman (Christopher Lee) all made cameo appearances, and Andy Serkis is back voicing Gollum, but they are little help.  Gandalf leads the new crew and they walk and walk, they scale mountains that crumble and fall on them.  They get attacked by Orcs and trolls.  They hook rides on giant eagles.  Sound familiar?  

Yes!  You are undoubtedly correct.  It has all been done and seen before.  And as it mercifully ended, we could tell that there will be more of the same to come.  I couldn’t be more uninterested.  I wish they had released these movies in sequential order.  I think that would have made a huge difference.  And it feels like a total money grub to extend this novel into a trilogy.  They should have quit while they were ahead.

If The Hobbit had come before the LOTR trilogy there is no doubt I would have enjoyed it more.  Unfortunately it didn’t.  Another problem is, with all the great trilogies and more-ogies, each individual movie could stand on it’s own.  Harry Potter.  Twilight.  The Matrix.  Star Wars.  Star Trek.  LOTR.  The Bournes.  The Hobbit was a nearly three hour set-up.  Nothing really happens and nothing is resolved.  The beginning of seven and a half to nine hours worth of recycled Middle Earth.  If you’re served filet mignon for the first time and you love it, then someone sets down Salisbury steak in front of you and tells you it’s filet, it won’t take many bites to know you’ve been had.  Maria mentioned The Hobbit broke December box office records.  I’ll bet the grosses go down with each film.  Then again, maybe I’m underestimating the public’s love of Salisbury steak.

Maria’s Rating:  2 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating:  2.25 Gummies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Movie Review: Jurassic Park 3-D

Published April 18, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sir Richard Attenborough, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong, Bob Peck, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Martin Ferrero.

Rated: PG-13.  Sci-Fi/Adventure.  Running Time: 2 hours 7 minutes.

Another blatant money grab?  Absolutely.  But who cares!  Maria and I took Ethan to his first PG-13 movie (he’s almost 10).  He was a trooper and what a great movie to cut your teeth on, one of the all-time greats.  I’ve seen the movie numerous times over the years, but watching it again on the big screen was fantastic!  The 3-D was mostly useless, but we were in an IMAX theater, and the overall experience couldn’t have been better.  Jurassic Park was certainly not showing its age.  At twenty years old, it still felt like a new release.  One could forget what a cutting edge film it really was, it basically started the CGI age.  Beyond that it’s just a really great story, presented to us by the finest director of my lifetime, Steven Spielberg.  I’m sure that everyone knows the plot, so no need to recap.  It’s the indelible images that stay with us forever.  Laura Dern elbow deep in Triceratops poop.  The “blood sucking lawyer” (Ferrero) bitten in half right off the toilet.  The T-Rex chasing the Jeep as Goldblum and Dern bellow out some awesome screams.  Timmy (Mazzello) getting blown off the electric fence, “three.”  The car chasing Tim and Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) down that tree!  Even if you’ve seen it a million times it keeps you on the edge of your seat.  Then there are the unforgettable lines (Goldblum has most of the best ones):  “Must move faster!”, “You are eventually planning to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour?”, “Hold onto your butts.”, “We’ve spared no expense”, “Life found a way.”, “You know what that is?  That’s an impact tremor.”  It sure as shit is, and you may want to get the hell out of there before you get eaten!

My favorite Goldblum line: “Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.”  I was mostly excited to see this on behalf of Ethan and his rite of passage into PG-13, but also a little amped myself for a T-Rex’s huge dome in my face.  I had some big expectations and Jurassic Park did not disappoint.  I’ve always loved dinosaurs and I remember the first time I saw this ’90’s classic.  I didn’t get to see it in the theatre and the premise was a bit over my head at the time, but the visuals were still vividly spectacular.  I can’t recall exactly how old I was, but I remember being impressed by the movie magic I was witnessing.  It was an honest thrill to get the chance to see it in an IMAX theatre.  Although, I thought they would have used the 3D with more vigor.  However, Ross made an excellent point that perhaps the cameras it was first filmed with are not compatible with today’s technology.  The T-Rex, incredible.  The Velociraptors, amazing.  The Brontosaurus’, magnificent & my personal favorite.  It will always be the Brontosaurus to me…

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_did_paleontologists_change_the_name_of_the_brontosaurus

…I don’t care what the scientists and history books say.

I loved dinosaurs as a kid.  I even sent away for these free booklets on them from the Rex Trailer Show for my whole class, when I was in first grade.  Recently read an article in EW about the 20th anniversary release of Jurassic Park, and apparently Spielberg was a dino fanatic too.  He can also get you squirming in your seat with fear, anticipation and delight, all at the same time.  He did this to me for the first time with his directorial debut, 1971’s Duel.  I’m not sure if many of you have had the opportunity to see this one, but if you ever get the chance, watch it.  Preferably at night, alone.  A somewhat dated story of a travelling salesman played by Dennis Weaver (best known as McCloud) who is terrorized on the back roads of America by a semi-truck driver who is trying to run him off the road, or just plain run him over.  This was far before the age of cell phones, so the story wouldn’t work today, but take yourself back, and this is a terrifying tale.  The kicker?  You never see the truckers face.  His booted feet once, but nothing else.  Just that ominous, almost living truck, ever gaining and loud, filling up the rearview mirror.  This was a harbinger of things to come from Spielberg.   I won’t attempt to list even a portion of the true classic entertainment this man has brought us, but who else could have turned a movie with a broken mechanical shark, into the iconic Jaws phenomenon that swept the World.  Did you know that you don’t see the shark in it’s menacing, monstrous entirety until 90 minutes into that movie??  A movie 128 minutes long!  That is genius…the genius that is Spielberg.  Thank you Steven, for EVERYTHING.  As far as Jurassic Park goes, at the very end Dr. Grant, following his numerous brushes with death, tells Richard Attenborough’s character:  “John, after careful consideration, I’ve decided not to endorse your park.”  I certainly don’t blame the good doctor, but I can’t concur.  I think the Park is spectacular and here to stay.  Hey, “there are people dying out there!” 

Jurassic Park has still got it – even after 20 years.  And it always will.  If you’re a fan, go treat yourself.  It truly was worth the price of admission to see this on the big screen.  And bringing Ethan with us was a trip.  During one part of the movie he looks over at me and goes, “Hey, are all the scary parts done?”  I honestly couldn’t remember, so I said, “I think so.”  Within the next minute, a Velociraptor erupts on the screen – only inches away from Dern’s throat.  He almost jumped across the theatre, but he took it in stride.  Of course, I got the blame for not knowing the full sequence of a 127 minute movie!  We had a lot of fun, to say the least.  The only thing I was feeling nostalgic for were the old prices.  Between tickets, snacks and parking we spent over $60.00!!  Chew on that number for a while.

Ross’ Rating:  5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Red Dawn

Published April 14, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise, Edwin Hodge, Brett Cullen, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Rated: PG-13.  Action.  Running Time: 1 hour 33 minutes.

Remakes.  They are the bane of my existence.  IMO, we don’t need a new Footloose or another Total Recall.  But Ross was interested in seeing this one and I agreed with modest expectations.  The 1984 original was one of my family’s classics and coined such famous lines as, ‘Avenge me boys!’, which we still toss around with giggles today.  Just check out this list of Hollywood remakes set to release in the near future:

http://www.nextmovie.com/blog/upcoming-movie-remakes/

I’m not sure why, but I feel irked when I read through this list.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a few remakes that aren’t bad, but don’t we have any new material?  At least in the case of such endeavors as Red Dawn, I understand the premise behind remaking the film.  The special effects that are available in this age of cinema add a crisp, new edge to films of this nature.  But Footloose?!?  Will there ever be anyone who can replace Kevin Bacon as Ren?  And did someone seriously choose to put Colin Farrell in the role of Douglas Quaid/Hauser?!?  I love seeing his hot, black Irish mug on the screen, but he won’t soon replace Schwarzenegger.  Honestly, I haven’t seen it, but I just can’t picture him saying ‘See you at the party Richter.’  Perhaps I am just a salty cynic, but I love the classics.  I don’t mind a few remakes surfacing every couple of years, but I don’t want Hollywood getting too complacent with churning out old shit because it’s easy.  Read some new scripts!  I’d love to see something different.

Oh man, 1984, what a year!  Not only the year that Maria and Rachel were born, but also arguably, one of the greatest years of movie releases ever.  How about: Ghostbusters, The Terminator, The Karate Kid, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Amadeus, Sixteen Candles, Footloose, Gremlins, Beverly Hills Cop, Splash, The Natural, Revenge of the Nerds, Romancing the Stone, The Last Starfighter, Purple Rain, Bachelor Party, Body Double, Against All Odds?!  Can you believe that line-up?  And you know what the most popular movie of all was in 1984?  Yup, Red Dawn.  Everyone knows the story, right?  America invaded by Russians and Cubans in the original, the more appropriate North Koreans in this version.  In both, it’s the local high school kids who rise up, led by the slightly older former football star.  Patrick Swayze in 1984 and Chris Hemsworth this go round.  Hey I’m not stuck in the past, but the original was kick ass, with Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey, C. Thomas Howell, Harry Dean Stanton, Powers Boothe.  Wreaking havoc on the invaders, guerilla style to the battle cry, Wolverines!!  Great stuff.  So I was indeed curious to see the updated version, albeit with very low expectations.  And honestly, it wasn’t horrendous.  The crew is pretty much matched up, and Hemsworth is a worthy leader.  Not what I would call A-list material just yet, but with Snow White, Thor and Red Dawn, he’s getting there.  Josh Peck was adequate in the Sheen role of the younger brother, and Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games) could have had a harder edge in his rendition of Howell’s Robert.  But the bad guys were hugely inept.  They had our heroes dead to rights like five times and couldn’t put them away.  This Red Dawn will never reach the classic status of the original, but if you rent it, you probably won’t fall asleep or wish you could get the hour and a half of your life back.      

It was O.K.  That’s the best way I can put it.  The best part of this movie was the first fifteen minutes – up to the visually pleasing scene when North Korean paratroopers drop into town.  It probably doesn’t help that we’ve also seen, ‘Tomorrow, When the War Began’, an Australian flick about teens fighting an invasion of their hometown.  To my astonishment, this movie gives no claim to Red Dawn, but I assure you it is loosely based on the same plot.  And how coincidental that Red Dawn is released in the Redbox right around the same time that we find ourselves in a precarious situation with the North Koreans.  I jokingly had a conspiracy theory that it was all planned, but in truth, that fat bastard from N.K. is just as insane and unpredictable as his dead dad.  If our diplomats had any sense, they’d just bribe him with a Twinkie.

kim

Would it kill him to buy a treadmill?  Or try some of the native fish?  Anyways, I digress.  Red Dawn will not be taking the place of the original, or winning any awards, but it was worth a watch.  And proved to have some relevant plot twists.

Oh come on Maria, give Kim Jong Un a break.  He can’t help he’s so fat, he doesn’t shit after all, just like his Pop. http://www.ugo.com/web-culture/kim-jong-ils-weird-moments-kim-jong-il-doesnt-pee-or-poop  Hey, we kicked their ass in Red Dawn and we’ll ruin them for real if they keep this nonsense up.  “America, fuck yeah!  Lick my butt and suck on my balls!”  Last song quote courtesy of two great Americans, Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

 Maria’s Rating:  1.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating:  2.5 Gummies.