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Movie Review: Turbo

Published July 23, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the Voices of: Ryan Reynolds, Paul Giamatti, Michael Pena, Samuel L. Jackson, Luis Guzman, Bill Hader, Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph, Richard Jenkins, Ken Jeong, Michelle Rodriguez.

Rated: PG.  Animated.  Running Time: 1 hour 36 minutes.

Honestly, Ross & I were not expecting too much from this one, but Ethan was intrigued when we peeped previews before Despicable Me 2.  The premise didn’t really appeal to either of us.  Snail wants to be fast, snail becomes fast, snail competes at Indy 500.  It’s a unique concept, but centered around things I’m not very interested in.  However, it surprised me to some extent and ended up surpassing my expectations.  The story had an encouraging and uplifting message: Follow your dreams.  But the message was delivered with a noticeable lack of laughs and the final result was underwhelming.  The tale begins in a garage bordering a lush garden of red, ripe tomatoes.  Our main character “Turbo”, or as his snail kin call him, Theo, is watching car racing on a small television.  He has a race track set up and he is working on improving his lap time of 2 minutes, while playing out his ‘speedy’ fantasy.  His brother instructs him to get some rest for a big day of work that’s ahead of them.  The snails travel in force, but slowly, toward the garden where they harvest the fresh tomatoes and send the duds hurtling toward “Turbo”, who is having a difficult time dodging the fleshy, large orbs.  He vocally daydreams about racing as he completes his daily tasks and the other snails castigate him for what they believe to be a fruitless dream.  But can we blame them…he is a snail – one of the quintessential slow creatures of the Earth.

Snail ends up falling on drag racing car, gets dose of nitrous, becomes super fast.  Turbo was mildly better than I expected, but still very mediocre.  And as Maria pointed out, seriously lacking in the humor department.  Ethan seemed to like it which is the most important thing really.  I’ve made this point before, the bar has been set so high for animated films that when you see one that is not spectacular, it is a major disappointment.  That being said, even though Turbo was an average offering, I was okay with it because my expectations weren’t very high going in.  My favorite part of the movie was Turbo’s sidekick snails which included Samuel L., Snoop and Maya Rudolph (think Lightning McQueen’s pit crew).  Michael Pena as Tito, Turbo’s manager of sorts, was okay as well.  Just a mostly forgettable hour and a half, but not so bad you want to demand your money back.  If it’s a rainy day and you literally have nothing else to do with the kids, maybe point the car toward your local theater.  Maybe.  But you know, bowling can be fun too.

The bar is really up there, so it’s understandable when one of these kids movies doesn’t make the cut as one of the elite.  With so many classics in the rearview mirror, the more recent stuff starts to blend together.  The theme of this film echoed that of many other animated features, but without the clever writing and entertainment.  Perhaps if I were a die hard car racing fan I would have found the plot more enticing.  It felt like a convoluted concoction of Epic, Cars and Antz all mixed up into one picture.  Turbo was good for a few smiles and for entertaining Ethan throughout the afternoon.  He enjoyed himself and as Ross said, that’s what really matters.  If I were you, I’d skip the theatre on this one and wait for the DVD release.  You’ll save some cash and your precious time.

Actually, I have another idea.  Go see Despicable Me 2 again, that movie is awesome!  Hey, if you love auto racing, Turbo is worth a watch.  Also, figuring out who the voices are is a fun game, I nailed Richard Jenkins in this one, a decent snipe.  And if you are into motorsports, keep a sharp ear to see if you can ferret out Mario Andretti and Dario Franchitti.  Or you could take Maria’s advice, wait for video.

Maria’s Rating:  2 Gummy Bears out 5.

Ross’ Rating:  2.5 Gummies.

Recent DVD Release: Jack the Giant Slayer

Published July 17, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Ewan McGregor, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Ewen Bremnar.

Rated: PG-13.  Adventure/Fantasy.  Running Time: 1 hour 54 minutes.

 

Can’t say I was dying to see this one, but when it showed up in our Redbox, I thought it might be fun to watch with Maria and Ethan.  You know, because he is a PG-13 veteran now.  It started with Jurassic Park in re-release, then on our vacation his sisters had him watching a Jim Carrey marathon of Dumb and Dumber and a couple of Ace Venturas.  I capped that off with Stand by Me, so I figured he could handle some CGI giants, and he did.  This new take on a very old fable was really not so bad.  In this rendition, Jack (Hoult) isn’t so much a boy rube being bilked out of the family cow.  More like an almost grown man with a sense of adventure.  There is a Princess (Tomlinson) injected into the story, and Jack climbs that bean stalk more on a rescue mission for love, than to redeem himself by stealing the Golden Goose.  Also, he is not alone on his climb, as the King (McShane) has sent his best men along.  The highly virtuous and likeable Elmont (McGregor) and the sinister Roderick (Tucci at his evil best) among them.  Finally, Jack doesn’t have to deal with just one giant, but a whole community of them.  By the way, Nicholas Hoult is nearly unrecognizable from the kid who played opposite Hugh Grant in 2002’s About a Boy.  It’s hard to believe that frumpy, chunky kid grew into this tall, good looking man who is dating Jennifer Lawrence.  And if you have never seen it, About a Boy is great!  Rent it or watch it the next time you see it on HBO etc.

Hoult and Lawrence have had an on again, off again love affair since their meeting on X-men First Class, which is where I first sniped him as Marcus from About A Boy.  Recently, I’ve seen the kid everywhere including another film I skipped in the theatre, Warm Bodies.  His lady love has been dominating box offices with her role as Katniss in the Hunger Games trilogy and a critically acclaimed, award winning portrayal of a young widow in Silver Linings Playbook.  Hoult hasn’t seen the same overnight boost of success.  Unfortunately, Jack the Giant Slayer didn’t kill at the box office, but it had some developmental and production hiccups.  The most widespread explanation is the conflict between the director’s darker vision for the film and the studios desire to make it family friendly.  They landed somewhere in the middle with a PG-13 rating, which drastically pigeon holed their target audience.  This indecision greatly affected the final product as well.  I enjoyed it, but it oozed the mediocrity of a compromise.

I didn’t realize they were intending to make this an R-rated horror movie, but now that I do, I can see it for sure.  There were some pretty nasty giant, eating people scenes, that were implied.  Edited down, sans gore no doubt.  Jack the Giant Slayer for the most part kept me entertained, which is an endorsement of sorts in this day of movie making.  A couple performances of note: Ian McShane played the King quite subdued, which is unusual for Ian, and it worked well.  My favorite though was Stanley Tucci’s conscienceless Roderick.  Honestly Tucci has always been one of my favorite actors.  One of the few who can excel at good guy parts as well as bad.  He was SUPER creepy as the serial killer in The Lovely Bones.  A persistent thorn in Tom Hanks’ side in The Terminal.  Fantastic as a budding restaurant owner opposite Tony Shalhoub in Big Night.  And he pulls off gay just fine in The Devil Wears Prada, and to a lesser extent, in the current Hunger Games trilogy.  He really is one of the most underrated actors of this generation.  Final thoughts on JTGS:  Nicholas Hoult has an easy likeability that may just serve him well going forward.  Tucci is Tucci.  And the CGI giants are simultaneously cool and gross.  It’s not going to go down in history as a classic, but spending a $1.27 at Redbox?  You could do worse. 

I agree that it was worth a watch.  My personal favorite was Ewan McGregor’s determined Elmont.  I found the chemistry between him and Jack very genuine.  McGregor has always been one of my favorites and I thought this role was out of his usual comfort zone.  He still emanated his usual trappings of breathless charm and clever wit.  Tucci is great, as always.  And I agree with Ross, this Hoult kid has a promising future, as long as he finds the right vehicle.  He should most definitely take a cue from his gal pal and maybe try the independent film circuit.  Sadly, the film as a whole was riddled with problems that kept it from commercial success.  The MPAA rating was an accurate indicator of what my rating will be…somewhere in the middle.

Ross’ Rating:  2.75 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating:  2.5 Gummies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Theme Park Review: Rapids Water Park

Published July 15, 2013 by mrsrag

Located at 6566 N. Military Trail, Riviera Beach, FL 33407.  On Military between 45th St. and Blue Heron Blvd.  www.rapidswaterpark.com.  Phone: (561)842-8756.

We love amusement parks and I have a special affinity for water parks.  Luckily, we have a rather inexpensive and very close park that we thoroughly enjoy.  My favorite thing about Rapids is that a majority of their slides require a tube of some sort.  I’ve lost some of my adventurous side, which used to enjoy a good tubeless throttle down a curvy tunnel.  Rapids still delivers the thrills, but with more comfort and a sense of security.  I much prefer being on a tube these days.  And quite frankly, some of their rides could be described as terrifying.  For example, Big/Black Thunder, two sister slides that reside on opposite sides of the park.  The only difference, as I’ve been told, is that Black Thunder is completely in the dark.  However, I’ve only given Big Thunder a go.  I’m not sure I’d be a huge fan of the belly dropping plunge into darkness and the feeling that you may just tip over at any moment.  Here’s a video from Big Thunder’s observation deck, just make sure your volume is quite low…someone’s a screamer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWWGPl34jAU

This is my new favorite ride in the park, which is saying a lot considering how many awesome slides they have there.  They also have the usual standards including a lazy river and a wave pool.  The lazy river is a great way to travel from one side of the park to the other or just for a nice leisurely float break.  Rapids has everything a water park fan could ever need.

We do LOVE going to theme parks.  Disney, Universal, Lake Compounce in CT, but Rapids has a lot going for it.  First, it’s only twenty minutes from our house.  Second, it’s reasonably priced at $39 per person during the week and $42 on the weekend.  PLUS, we’ve gone the last two years and each time they’ve given us “buy one get one free” coupons for our next visit.  So, your second trip Monday-Friday is only $19 a piece.  And the cherry on the sundae is the place is a blast!  We took Ethan and his buddy Madian last time, and the boys love the place too.  Many of the rides have tubes that fit four, so we all could go together.  I absolutely agree with Maria, Big Thunder is my favorite; watch the video and you’ll see why.  Raging Rapids and Riptide Raftin’ are also four person thrillers.  We also enjoy Tubin Tornadoes, another set of sister slides that accommodates two people per tube,  we call them “the twins.”  The boys went on Pirates Plunge, another pair of slides that are for one person, no tubes.  Like Rapids Racer, which I have been on, these rides are for smaller bodies than mine.  But it sure was fun seeing the transformation of Ethan from fairly meek last year to daredevil this year. 

What a difference!  Last year I was begging him to go on some of the milder slides, such as ‘Big Red’ & this year he’s hopping from Pirates Plunge to Big Thunder like an old pro.  He and Madian even gave the newest ride, Flow Rider, a try and I had to join them.  The line was quite substantial, but it was too enticing to me and my 9 year old escorts.  Flow Rider has a ‘continuous, simulated wave system’ – which is a fancy way of saying the wave lasts forever.  Although, most participants don’t last the full two minutes, which is the allotted time.  In fact, if you get caught in the 35 mph wave sideways, even for a split second, your body disappears over the upper crest.  When I rode, I took extra care to ride the wave and then exit to the left where the wave settles.  I was not going to have a disastrous wipeout, but many riders including E’s pal Madian took some serious diggers toward the back.  Of course, there were a few experts including a young boy or girl (?) who sat up on the body board and performed some yoga poses.  All four of us were confused about the gender, I thought it was a girl, but the expert body boarder reigned supreme either way.  Rapids is great fun for all ages and they have some excellent areas for smaller children as well.  My best advice if you’re planning a visit is 1.) Get a locker; 2.) Bring dry clothes to change into and even an extra suit; 3.) If you don’t like fast food-esque fare, pack some snacks and lunch; and lastly 4.) Get there early for parking and to leave yourself ample time to fully experience the park.

Oh man that young girl/boy was a body boarding savant!  We were literally split down the middle on gender, two votes male and female each, but she/he was a pleasure to watch.  We truly have a great day every time we go to the Rapids.  Open to close is a perfect amount of time to get to everything you want to do, as many times as you want to do it.  The only damper on our last trip was Ethan slipped and took a pretty nasty header on some stairs.  I was right next to him and it was like a terrifying, slow motion, daytime nightmare.  The park employees were quick to come to our aid, and fortunately he came out of it just bruised up and scraped, but I would advise some caution when travelling from one side of the park to the other and on the multitude of stairs you’ll be climbing throughout the day.  Wet ground, wet feet lead to some slippery surfaces.  Other than that, go to the Rapids before the summer is over, preferably during the week.  You’ll have fun, the kids will be smiling all day, and you’ll get a nice stair workout too. 

Maria’s Rating: 4.5 Water Slides out of 5.

Ross’ Rating:  4.75 Water Slides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Movie Review: Despicable Me 2

Published July 11, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring the voices of: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Benjamin Bratt, Miranda Cosgrove, Russell Brand, Ken Jeong.

Rated: PG.  Animated/Comedy.  Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes.

We’re back from our epic road trip, Florida to Maine and back.  We had a great time with stops including Connecticut, Rhode Island and New York.  We saw family and friends, went to a wedding, ate lobsters and drove – a lot.  Through it all Ethan was magnificent!  I’m positive you couldn’t find a 9 year old anywhere who could’ve taken all the driving better.  Anyway, while we were gone, we took a day and went to see Despicable Me 2.  One of our best decisions for sure.  It was at least as good as the original, maybe even better!  Bad guy turned good guy dad, Gru (Carell) is being courted by the AVL, Anti-Villain League, to help capture a powerful new criminal who is threatening the World.  Gru jumps at the chance to get “back in the game.”  Along the way he gets a partner/love interest in Lucy (Wiig) and their chemistry is at the heart of the movie.  The three girls are adorable as usual, and the oldest Margo (Cosgrove) has an interest in a boy that gets Gru’s attention in a way that any father of a girl will surely understand.  The search for the super villain takes some interesting twists and turns, and the whacky Minions are always there to provide their wonderful brand of slapstick humor.  The movie never stops delivering from start to finish, and I for one, can’t wait to see it again!

As some of our regular readers may know, I am a child of the ’90’s Disney classics.  Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King…these are the movies I was raised on and they seriously set the bar for any of the more recent instant classics, such as the Toy Story films, Cars, Wall-E, UP, etc. etc. etc.  So, when Ross told me to give Despicable Me a shot, I had some high expectations.  He said it was one of his recent favorites and incredibly cute.  We were far apart at the time and I was home sick from work that day.  I immediately loved it.  Carell’s over the top villain voice, Brand’s undetected Dr. Nefario and those three little girls.  I could just eat little Agnes right up, she’s so freaking adorable!  “It’s so FLUFFY!!!”  I laughed out loud, I cried like a little bitch and it honestly made me feel better.  I guess it’s unsurprising that I just as easily took to the sequel.  Despicable Me 2 has the same unforced charm, clever cookiness and heart warming storyline that made me fall in love with the first one.  I don’t know if it was better, but it was very good.  The plot focused on thwarting an evil mastermind’s plan, but mainly it was about setting Gru up with a suitable mother for his lovely daughters.  This one is perfect for the kids and I can tell you that the two young viewers that accompanied us thoroughly enjoyed themselves.  Hannah and Ethan are both 9 and they were thrilled with the finished product.  Except perhaps that one scene when the evil guy is testing his serum on bunnies…the girl loves bunnies.

Hannah is a hoot, it’s too bad we only get to see them a couple of times a year because Ethan and her get along so well.  And the girl really does love bunnies.  Despicable Me 2 is crushing at the box office.  It has singlehandedly pulverized the life out of Johnny Depp’s Lone Ranger, as I’ve heard they’ve already cancelled plans for a sequel.  It’s no surprise really, DM2 is that good, and its appeal is just as strong for adults as it is for the kids.  I wouldn’t be shocked to see it win best animated feature at the Oscars next year.  I know it’s early for a prediction like that, I’m sure there will be many more worthy efforts between now and March.  But, they better be damned good because Gru, the girls and the Minions have thrown it down baby!  I only have one complaint and it has nothing to do with the content.  It’s the frigging 3D.  I know we bring it up often, but I’m sorry, it’s a tremendous waste of money.  I’m positive I would’ve enjoyed the movie just as much in a conventional theater.  The best/only 3D effects were after the movie was over and the Minions had their now familiar vignettes during the credits.  Hey Hollywood, enough already! 

I hear ya there.  I’m tired of paying extra for two or three thrills.  If you’re going to make the movie 3-D, make it worth my while.  The Minions are entertaining at the very end, but I think we could splurge and put a few 3-D thrills into the meat of the movie.  Moving on, DM2 was a pleasure.  It was well worth the price and a day of our vacation.  The kids had a blast, Ross & I enjoyed ourselves and we may even go see it once more before it leaves theatres.  There’s something extremely unique about these movies.  And we all love watching a bad guy turn good, especially Ross.  It’s literally his favorite thing about a film.  An evil villain turned dad, AVL spy & loving husband.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  Catch this one while you can and bring along the kids.

Ross’ Rating: 4.75 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

mins

Movie Review: This Is The End

Published June 14, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Emma Watson, Michael Cera.

Rated: R.  Action/Comedy.  Running Time: 1 hour 47 minutes.

Wow. Gratuitous cock shots. Celebrity drug use. Ridiculously bawdy humor. It’s like Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg somehow got the combination to the safe containing my dream movie. The last comedy that had the feeling of an early Christmas just for Maria was Step Brothers. That being said…if you’re not a fan of watching witty celebs get fucked up and make lots of jizz jokes, you should most likely skip this feature. There are countless mentions of dicks, butt holes, cocaine, ecstasy, weed and jerking off. But what else do you expect? It’s an R rated comedy about the apocalypse featuring the dudes listed above. I on the other hand profusely enjoyed myself and laughed to the point of crying. This original film was Worlds away from anything I’ve ever seen. And the entire story is so ludicrous, but laced with moments of true sincerity. This is how these guys really talk to each other…it’s just an exaggerated version.

Let’s be clear, full frontal male schlong is big these days.  Magic Mike, Da Vinci’s Demons, Game of Thrones, Michael Fassbender in Shame; the “member” list goes on and on.  No one, however, has shown demon dick like This Is The End.  I’m talking about a two hundred foot tall, burning, horned devil with a major swinger.  Also, since the turn of the century, no subject has been more popular at the movies than end of days.  Whether it’s zombies, plagues, aliens, natural disasters, meteors or good old-fashioned bible shit, Hollywood loves to kill, or attempt to kill the planet.  But nobody has ever seen or done anything like This Is The End.  That the entire ensemble are all playing versions of themselves is incredibly original.  The humor is exactly at the level of raunchiness you would expect from this group and it is at times hilarious, but there is also an extremely hard edge injected into the mix that is unexpected and to me at least; a touch disconcerting.  Definitely not enough for me not to have enjoyed myself thoroughly, just a bit of seat squirming.  Like Maria alluded to, if you can’t handle or don’t like serious off color humor, drug use and blood, you should probably skip it.  For the rest, go see This Is the End, Michael Cera’s performance alone is worth the price of admission!

Cera is fantastic.  And it’s really funny because we’ve been watching all the old Arrested Development episodes and he still has such a baby face!  I found this movie incredibly entertaining.  I was captivated by what would happen next and what the characters might say.  It would be a daunting task to name all of the cameos that occur, but there are some very memorable ones!  If you’re debating whether to wait for this one on DVD or go to the theatre, I strongly suggest catching it on the big screen.  It makes a lasting impression and still has me giggling days later.

Just a few other performances of note.  Emma Watson is very un-Hermione like.  James Franco does a perfect…well, James Franco.  Danny McBride is deliciously vile.  And finally, keep an eye out for a brief but very brave and stomach turning appearance by Channing Tatum.  All I can think to say is: eww!!

Maria’s Rating:  4.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating: 3.75 Gummies.

 

 

Recent DVD Release: Cloud Atlas

Published June 13, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugo Weaving, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Xun Zhou, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, Keith David, James D’Arcy, Davis Gyasi, Susan Sarandon and Hugh Grant.

Rated: R. Adventure/Drama/Science Fiction. Running Time: 2 hours 52 minutes.

Let me begin by saying, I couldn’t wait to see this movie. We missed it in the theaters, and when it showed up in our Redbox yesterday, I was psyched. Maria wasn’t nearly as excited as I was, but she’s always a good sport, so it was dinner and Cloud Atlas. I knew we were in trouble very quickly. It’s nearly impossible to capsulize the plot, truly. Suffice it to say, Cloud Atlas makes Inception seem like a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. It jumps around from one time to another with reckless abandon. The actors all play numerous roles, in some they’re good, in some bad. If you’re a fan of Game of Thrones, you know that series has a dozen story lines that they address in any given episode. GoT is a one man Broadway play compared to Cloud Atlas. And if the breakneck speed of changing ages and landscapes isn’t enough, in one of the settings they’re speaking some kind of bastardized language that’s reminiscent of Jar Jar Binks’ blatherings in Star Wars. Eventually, the movie somewhat ties up all the plotlines, but it’s WAY too late. If you want the “true-true”, stay far away from this nearly endless epic tale, far away and with extreme prejudice.

Fifteen minutes in and I was already feeling overwhelmed, overworked and unimpressed. My brain was hurting from trying to keep track of who, what, when, where and why. I admit when I first peeped previews of this film I was intrigued and excited. For one, it was pitched as a ‘Wachowski’ film (the people who brought us The Matrix). It also seemed to explore certain spiritual themes that I am somewhat familiar with. I’m not a very religious type, but I do believe in something and I’ve found some past lives writing quite interesting. My personal favorite was a suggestion of my good friend Kate Doyle, “Many Lives, Many Masters” written by Dr. Brian L. Weiss (READ THIS!). It’s a fantastic read and raises some important questions about the meaning and mysteries of life. Cloud Atlas courageously explores these same concepts, but fails to make a lasting impression. It has glimpses of greatness, but then drags the viewer into an exhausting montage of times and places. Just enough to drain all of the heart and magic out of this film. What really annoyed me about this movie was that it had the potential to be wonderful, but eventually couldn’t get out of its own way. They missed the mark and apparently missed the day of class when the instructor went over the KISS principle. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.

When it comes down to it, I’m a pretty fair Sci-Fi nerd. I love everything Star Trek, The Matrix Trilogy, X-Files, Fringe. To a lesser extent, Star Wars, Transformers, Inception. And it remains one of my favorite genres. Maria mentioned the Wachowski influence, and that was promising to me because The Matrix was fantastic. Cloud Atlas is extremely clever and deeply thought provoking, which is generally a perfect formula for me. However, it is also long and convoluted and despite everything that’s going on; boring. Hey, I’m not MENSA material, but I’m no schlub either. I don’t think it’s conceited of me to say that I’m smarter than the average bear, but Cloud Atlas had my head swimming and my brain just drowned. As I pointed out, near the end the writers did endeavor to make a little sense of the previous two and a half hours of chaos, but by then I just didn’t care. The movie was filled with some of my all-time favorites, Hanks, Weaving, Broadbent, Grant, and they did their jobs as well as they usually do. Unfortunately, the maelstrom that is Cloud Atlas just swallowed them whole. If indeed I’m not intelligent enough to enjoy Cloud Atlas, then I say “ignorance is bliss!”

Obviously, we both did not enjoy this film. However, there were some positive aspects. The visual effects were awesome and the overall theme was meaningful. I also had a special affinity for the character of Mr. Meeks, an elderly nursing home resident who only speaks the words, “I know, I know”…for the majority of the film, until he needs to save himself and his friends from a certainly bleak future. Sadly, these few things were lost in the Uber mindfuck that is Cloud Atlas. I can’t imagine you’d consider wasting several hours on this flick after reading this glowing review, but if you dare – perhaps some research into the plot will benefit you. After conducting a mild investigation to fill in the details for our piece, I read a two sentence synopsis that shed more light on the story. I usually like to have a grasp of what’s going on in the beginning, middle or end of a movie. Yet, even now I have questions. The most pertinent one being, “Why did we watch this?”

Ross’ Rating: 1.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 1.5 Gummies.