Movie Review: Jurassic Park 3-D

Published April 18, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sir Richard Attenborough, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong, Bob Peck, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Martin Ferrero.

Rated: PG-13.  Sci-Fi/Adventure.  Running Time: 2 hours 7 minutes.

Another blatant money grab?  Absolutely.  But who cares!  Maria and I took Ethan to his first PG-13 movie (he’s almost 10).  He was a trooper and what a great movie to cut your teeth on, one of the all-time greats.  I’ve seen the movie numerous times over the years, but watching it again on the big screen was fantastic!  The 3-D was mostly useless, but we were in an IMAX theater, and the overall experience couldn’t have been better.  Jurassic Park was certainly not showing its age.  At twenty years old, it still felt like a new release.  One could forget what a cutting edge film it really was, it basically started the CGI age.  Beyond that it’s just a really great story, presented to us by the finest director of my lifetime, Steven Spielberg.  I’m sure that everyone knows the plot, so no need to recap.  It’s the indelible images that stay with us forever.  Laura Dern elbow deep in Triceratops poop.  The “blood sucking lawyer” (Ferrero) bitten in half right off the toilet.  The T-Rex chasing the Jeep as Goldblum and Dern bellow out some awesome screams.  Timmy (Mazzello) getting blown off the electric fence, “three.”  The car chasing Tim and Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) down that tree!  Even if you’ve seen it a million times it keeps you on the edge of your seat.  Then there are the unforgettable lines (Goldblum has most of the best ones):  “Must move faster!”, “You are eventually planning to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour?”, “Hold onto your butts.”, “We’ve spared no expense”, “Life found a way.”, “You know what that is?  That’s an impact tremor.”  It sure as shit is, and you may want to get the hell out of there before you get eaten!

My favorite Goldblum line: “Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.”  I was mostly excited to see this on behalf of Ethan and his rite of passage into PG-13, but also a little amped myself for a T-Rex’s huge dome in my face.  I had some big expectations and Jurassic Park did not disappoint.  I’ve always loved dinosaurs and I remember the first time I saw this ’90’s classic.  I didn’t get to see it in the theatre and the premise was a bit over my head at the time, but the visuals were still vividly spectacular.  I can’t recall exactly how old I was, but I remember being impressed by the movie magic I was witnessing.  It was an honest thrill to get the chance to see it in an IMAX theatre.  Although, I thought they would have used the 3D with more vigor.  However, Ross made an excellent point that perhaps the cameras it was first filmed with are not compatible with today’s technology.  The T-Rex, incredible.  The Velociraptors, amazing.  The Brontosaurus’, magnificent & my personal favorite.  It will always be the Brontosaurus to me…

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_did_paleontologists_change_the_name_of_the_brontosaurus

…I don’t care what the scientists and history books say.

I loved dinosaurs as a kid.  I even sent away for these free booklets on them from the Rex Trailer Show for my whole class, when I was in first grade.  Recently read an article in EW about the 20th anniversary release of Jurassic Park, and apparently Spielberg was a dino fanatic too.  He can also get you squirming in your seat with fear, anticipation and delight, all at the same time.  He did this to me for the first time with his directorial debut, 1971’s Duel.  I’m not sure if many of you have had the opportunity to see this one, but if you ever get the chance, watch it.  Preferably at night, alone.  A somewhat dated story of a travelling salesman played by Dennis Weaver (best known as McCloud) who is terrorized on the back roads of America by a semi-truck driver who is trying to run him off the road, or just plain run him over.  This was far before the age of cell phones, so the story wouldn’t work today, but take yourself back, and this is a terrifying tale.  The kicker?  You never see the truckers face.  His booted feet once, but nothing else.  Just that ominous, almost living truck, ever gaining and loud, filling up the rearview mirror.  This was a harbinger of things to come from Spielberg.   I won’t attempt to list even a portion of the true classic entertainment this man has brought us, but who else could have turned a movie with a broken mechanical shark, into the iconic Jaws phenomenon that swept the World.  Did you know that you don’t see the shark in it’s menacing, monstrous entirety until 90 minutes into that movie??  A movie 128 minutes long!  That is genius…the genius that is Spielberg.  Thank you Steven, for EVERYTHING.  As far as Jurassic Park goes, at the very end Dr. Grant, following his numerous brushes with death, tells Richard Attenborough’s character:  “John, after careful consideration, I’ve decided not to endorse your park.”  I certainly don’t blame the good doctor, but I can’t concur.  I think the Park is spectacular and here to stay.  Hey, “there are people dying out there!” 

Jurassic Park has still got it – even after 20 years.  And it always will.  If you’re a fan, go treat yourself.  It truly was worth the price of admission to see this on the big screen.  And bringing Ethan with us was a trip.  During one part of the movie he looks over at me and goes, “Hey, are all the scary parts done?”  I honestly couldn’t remember, so I said, “I think so.”  Within the next minute, a Velociraptor erupts on the screen – only inches away from Dern’s throat.  He almost jumped across the theatre, but he took it in stride.  Of course, I got the blame for not knowing the full sequence of a 127 minute movie!  We had a lot of fun, to say the least.  The only thing I was feeling nostalgic for were the old prices.  Between tickets, snacks and parking we spent over $60.00!!  Chew on that number for a while.

Ross’ Rating:  5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

Do it for Boston

Published April 16, 2013 by mrsrag

In light of the recent tragedy, we feel that perhaps everyone is feeling a bit like us.  Maybe angry, tired or just plain sick of the news we keep receiving.  Every time a tragedy occurs, such as this recent bombing at the Boston marathon, we feel more and more helpless.

We won’t delude ourselves into thinking that this blog is so widely read that our tiny piece of concern will reach millions.  But we’ll be satisfied if just one single person decides to participate in our little plan for maintaining sanity.

We propose that today, each of us performs some small good deed or kind gesture toward a fellow human being.  It can be as simple as holding the door a second longer, picking a pen up off the floor or just paying someone a compliment.  Or it could be as grand as donating extra money to a charity or volunteering for the day.  We know a lot of you probably do these things on a regular basis, but sometimes the easiest little things slip our minds during the hustle & bustle of each day.

I’m not sure what deed or gesture we will end up performing, but I promise that Ross, Ethan & I will all be participating today.  Do something nice for a stranger…not because you want something in return, but because it feels good.  Join us and help put the human back in humanity.

Recent DVD Release: Red Dawn

Published April 14, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise, Edwin Hodge, Brett Cullen, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Rated: PG-13.  Action.  Running Time: 1 hour 33 minutes.

Remakes.  They are the bane of my existence.  IMO, we don’t need a new Footloose or another Total Recall.  But Ross was interested in seeing this one and I agreed with modest expectations.  The 1984 original was one of my family’s classics and coined such famous lines as, ‘Avenge me boys!’, which we still toss around with giggles today.  Just check out this list of Hollywood remakes set to release in the near future:

http://www.nextmovie.com/blog/upcoming-movie-remakes/

I’m not sure why, but I feel irked when I read through this list.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a few remakes that aren’t bad, but don’t we have any new material?  At least in the case of such endeavors as Red Dawn, I understand the premise behind remaking the film.  The special effects that are available in this age of cinema add a crisp, new edge to films of this nature.  But Footloose?!?  Will there ever be anyone who can replace Kevin Bacon as Ren?  And did someone seriously choose to put Colin Farrell in the role of Douglas Quaid/Hauser?!?  I love seeing his hot, black Irish mug on the screen, but he won’t soon replace Schwarzenegger.  Honestly, I haven’t seen it, but I just can’t picture him saying ‘See you at the party Richter.’  Perhaps I am just a salty cynic, but I love the classics.  I don’t mind a few remakes surfacing every couple of years, but I don’t want Hollywood getting too complacent with churning out old shit because it’s easy.  Read some new scripts!  I’d love to see something different.

Oh man, 1984, what a year!  Not only the year that Maria and Rachel were born, but also arguably, one of the greatest years of movie releases ever.  How about: Ghostbusters, The Terminator, The Karate Kid, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Amadeus, Sixteen Candles, Footloose, Gremlins, Beverly Hills Cop, Splash, The Natural, Revenge of the Nerds, Romancing the Stone, The Last Starfighter, Purple Rain, Bachelor Party, Body Double, Against All Odds?!  Can you believe that line-up?  And you know what the most popular movie of all was in 1984?  Yup, Red Dawn.  Everyone knows the story, right?  America invaded by Russians and Cubans in the original, the more appropriate North Koreans in this version.  In both, it’s the local high school kids who rise up, led by the slightly older former football star.  Patrick Swayze in 1984 and Chris Hemsworth this go round.  Hey I’m not stuck in the past, but the original was kick ass, with Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey, C. Thomas Howell, Harry Dean Stanton, Powers Boothe.  Wreaking havoc on the invaders, guerilla style to the battle cry, Wolverines!!  Great stuff.  So I was indeed curious to see the updated version, albeit with very low expectations.  And honestly, it wasn’t horrendous.  The crew is pretty much matched up, and Hemsworth is a worthy leader.  Not what I would call A-list material just yet, but with Snow White, Thor and Red Dawn, he’s getting there.  Josh Peck was adequate in the Sheen role of the younger brother, and Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games) could have had a harder edge in his rendition of Howell’s Robert.  But the bad guys were hugely inept.  They had our heroes dead to rights like five times and couldn’t put them away.  This Red Dawn will never reach the classic status of the original, but if you rent it, you probably won’t fall asleep or wish you could get the hour and a half of your life back.      

It was O.K.  That’s the best way I can put it.  The best part of this movie was the first fifteen minutes – up to the visually pleasing scene when North Korean paratroopers drop into town.  It probably doesn’t help that we’ve also seen, ‘Tomorrow, When the War Began’, an Australian flick about teens fighting an invasion of their hometown.  To my astonishment, this movie gives no claim to Red Dawn, but I assure you it is loosely based on the same plot.  And how coincidental that Red Dawn is released in the Redbox right around the same time that we find ourselves in a precarious situation with the North Koreans.  I jokingly had a conspiracy theory that it was all planned, but in truth, that fat bastard from N.K. is just as insane and unpredictable as his dead dad.  If our diplomats had any sense, they’d just bribe him with a Twinkie.

kim

Would it kill him to buy a treadmill?  Or try some of the native fish?  Anyways, I digress.  Red Dawn will not be taking the place of the original, or winning any awards, but it was worth a watch.  And proved to have some relevant plot twists.

Oh come on Maria, give Kim Jong Un a break.  He can’t help he’s so fat, he doesn’t shit after all, just like his Pop. http://www.ugo.com/web-culture/kim-jong-ils-weird-moments-kim-jong-il-doesnt-pee-or-poop  Hey, we kicked their ass in Red Dawn and we’ll ruin them for real if they keep this nonsense up.  “America, fuck yeah!  Lick my butt and suck on my balls!”  Last song quote courtesy of two great Americans, Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

 Maria’s Rating:  1.5 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Ross’ Rating:  2.5 Gummies.

 

Recent DVD Release: Argo

Published April 3, 2013 by mrsrag

Starring: Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Victor Garber, Tate Donovan, Clea DuVall, Rory Cochran, Scoot McNairy, Christopher Denham, Kerry Bishe, Kyle Chandler.

Rated: R.  Drama/History.  Running Time: 2 hours.

Ben Affleck, right?  Bursts into our collective consciousness with 1997’s Good Will Hunting, which he starred in and co-wrote with pal Matt Damon.  All time classic, they won an Academy Award for Original Screenplay.  Then what happens?  Matt Damon plays The Talented Mr. Ripley, goes all Jason Bourne on us, and we just KNOW this guy is the brains and acting talent of this duo.  Meanwhile, Ben is cranking out movies that range from mediocre to pure shit.  Forces of Nature, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Daredevil, Surviving Christmas.  Do I need to go on?  Well a funny thing has happened on the way to forever being late night television joke fodder.  Much to the chagrin of Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Fallon et al, Ben is on a freaking roll!   It started in 2007 with his directorial debut of Gone Baby Gone, the big screen adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s book, starring his brother Casey Affleck (who I always thought was the better actor btw.)  Great movie, Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman; check it out.  Then he writes, directs and stars in the awesome 2010 flick The Town.  The story of Charlestown bank robbers that also stars Jeremy Renner, who ironically is starring in the new series of Bourne movies, is absolutely fantastic!  If you’ve never seen it, shame on you.  Which brings us to Argo.  Ben stars and directs again, and as you all know by now, Argo won the Oscar for Best Picture.  Getting snubbed for a Best Director nomination definitely aided that victory IMO, but Argo certainly belonged on the short list, and Ben remains white hot.

Argo is based on the true story of 6 American diplomats trapped in revolutionary Iran during the hostage crisis.  They are the only ones who make it out of the American Embassy, while an unlucky 52 are held captive for a total of 444 days.  The film depicts the harrowing tale of how the CIA plans to extract them from this impossible situation.  Affleck’s character, CIA agent Tony Mendez, devises a ballsy plan to fabricate the production of a science fiction movie and pretend that the 6 Americans are part of the film crew scouting a locale.  The premise is truly awe-inspiring and the tale is brilliantly depicted.  Argo is an emotionally charged ride through edge of your seat suspense and desperation induced empathy.  Affleck continues to impress us as viewers and seamlessly transitions into the upper eschelon of Hollywood talent.  He almost persuades me to take back all of the foul things I said about him back in the day (circa 2002) when he was caressing & smooching J.Lo’s butt crack in the ‘Jenny From the Block’ video. (See visual below)

benandjen

Luckily, Ben has learned from said mistakes.  That by no means erases the past, but it has changed my perception of the handsome star.  It appears that Mr. Affleck does not only have talent, but a working brain as well.  He could have fooled me a decade ago.

You’re something Maria!  I almost peed my pants with the booty smooch pic.  Okay Argo.  It was cool learning about this “truth is stranger than fiction” story.  How they kept it quiet all those years is remarkable.  Who knew we had heroic Canadians too. (Just kidding, some of my best friends are Canadians, eh?)  This is a really good movie, well-written, wonderfully acted and had me engaged and squirming on the couch throughout.  Arkin and Goodman (who seems to be in every movie these days) were especially entertaining in their far too few scenes.  But all that being said, Best Picture of the year?  No way.  I haven’t seen all the movies nominated, but Silver Linings Playbook was by far the best movie I saw last year.  I would rank Django Unchained higher, and I think The Town was a better Affleck movie too.  Honestly, it’s really kind of silly comparing good/great movies and declaring one the winner anyway, but that’s what human beings like to do.  So, I only have one thing left to say to you, if you don’t like my review, “Argo fuck yourself!”    

I love that!  And I am so pleased that Ben has wised up.  I have thoroughly enjoyed watching his evolution from career suicide to Oscar regular.  He’s hotter than ever.  I believe Argo is just the tip of the iceberg and Affleck has a lot more tricks up his sleeve.  That being said, I much prefer his work behind the camera.  Not that he isn’t easy on the eyes, because believe me – I enjoyed the workout scenes in The Town.  But he’s just got so much more to offer as a writer and director.  Keep up the good work and good luck digging yourself out of that Oscar speech hole with the Misses.

Ross’ Rating: 4 Gummy Bears out of 5.

Maria’s Rating: 4 Gummies.

(To see more on Affleck’s Oscar speech buzz click the link: http://www.express.co.uk/news/showbiz/389057/Jennifer-Garner-Ben-Affleck-s-Oscars-speech-was-a-compliment)