Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Mackenzie Foy, Billy Burke.

Rated: PG-13.  Adventure/Drama/Fantasy.  Running Time: 1 hour 56 minutes.

Twi-hards rejoice, its finally here – opening weekend of Breaking Dawn part deux.  Eternal love.  Always.  Forever.  Well, at least for Edward and Bella.  Not so much for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.  K-Stew’s off-screen love affair didn’t kill my interest or respect for the extremely successful franchise.  I adored the books and I wasn’t about to let a Hollywood indiscretion ruin the movies for me.  If I ever allowed that to happen, there wouldn’t be much cinema left to enjoy.  Lastly, regarding that subject matter, keep in mind that if every twenty-two year old’s mis-steps were shared Worldwide, we’d have a lifetime or more of stories.  Luckily, not everybody’s business is newsworthy.  So, I found this latest and last installment to be one of the best out of the five that make up the entire saga.  I wouldn’t necessarily say its my favorite…yet.  I have a feeling that it will grow on me in time, but its definitely at least in the second spot.  Director Bill Condon finishes us up with a decent balance of fun, conflict and stylish visuals.  The fun parts focus mainly on Bella’s newfound talents as a newborn vampire and her charming half-mortal, half-immortal little girl, Renesmee.  My best friend, who first gave me the books back in 2010, had guessed I wouldn’t care much for the name.  I still don’t.  Namesakes aside, the character was well cast with the stunning Mackenzie Foy who almost looks surreal on camera.  Of course, the flawless Cullen’s are overwhelmingly stylish and perfect looking throughout the 156 minutes.

Maria and I are coming from different directions as pertaining to the Twilight franchise.  First, I haven’t read the books, which worked perfectly for me during the epic Harry Potter series, because as is universally recognized, books are always better than the movies.  I had no idea what was coming, which I prefer.  Second, I don’t have a vagina, which I’m fairly certain is required to be truly blown away by these movies.  That being said, I did enjoy the whole story.  The dynamic love triangle, the feud between the vampires and werewolves, the anticipation of Bella becoming a cold immortal and the hugely underused Billy Burke as Bella’s dad.  One of my favorite parts of BDP2 is when Charlie finally gets a glimpse behind the curtain.  This is a tough review to pen without ruining the plot.  I’ve read other reviewers write things like “If you don’t want to know what happens then you shouldn’t read my review” or ” Caution Spoiler Alert!!”   I like to think that Maria and I have gotten across our opinions quite nicely without ever divulging crucial plot points, and we certainly aren’t going to start now.  But this is a tough one.  Often I am the set-up guy when we write, giving a brief brass tacks synopsis of the flick.  Unfortunately, if you’re going to see BDP2, no set-up is really required so I’ll try a little different approach.  It was great to finally see Kristen Stewart not constantly brooding around, and she is a badass vampire!  Their daughter Renesmee (that name really does blow) is a cool human/vampire hybrid and her connection with Jacob (Lautner) is very sweet.  And whether you’ve read the books or not, the inevitable confrontation between the Cullen Clan and The Volturi will have you riveted to the screen.  Guaranteed. 

I love the Volturi.  They add such a dynamic to the on screen ensemble.  Michael Sheen as the all powerful Aro, with his apathetic sidekicks Caius and Marcus.  Their numerous minions doling out punishments to anyone they perceive as a threat.  Dakota Fanning does a wonderful job as Jane, who literally has less than 20 lines spanning over several of the sequels.  There is a palpable tension between Jane and Bella, which is realized in this conclusion.  Their animosity seemed to blossom from a scene in Twilight New Moon when Jane’s propensity for distributing pain is thwarted by Bella’s uncanny talent for shielding from vampire’s powers, even Edward’s.

One thing missing from our viewing experience was a theater full of Twi-hards.  BDP2 was playing at like 5 different times and our room was kind of dead.  I know Maria would’ve enjoyed some hearty gasps, oohs and ahhs from the tween crowd.  I would’ve had some laughs myself watching the youngins lose their minds.  Vampires are everywhere these days and I will reiterate that I enjoyed the Twilight Saga, but I didn’t have a hard time sleeping thinking about seeing any of them.  Truth be told, give me HBO’s True Blood anyday.  That show delivers every week and is definitely made for grown-ups.  Bill rising up out of that puddle of blood in last season’s finale was off the hook!  Sookie and Eric are going to have their hands full next season.   And it has the best opening theme song in history.  “When you came in, the air went out…”  Hells yeah!

I agree sweetheart, True Blood kicks Twilight’s ass, but I still find both enjoyable.  Even though the subject matter is still vampires, they are both such different animals.  True Blood is cheeky, wicked and gory.  While twilight tries to examine a tamed vampire capable of certain human emotions that we often don’t expect from such creatures.  The true focus of Twilight is star-crossed teen lovers from two distinct Worlds, the immortal and the human.  The love story is the real core of Twilight.  Readers and viewers alike become invested in the success of Edward and Bella’s relationship, which is why I believe there was such an uproar with Kristen’s indiscretion.  I also think Ross may be on to something with that vagina hypothesis.  The lead isn’t bad eye candy and his character’s relentless love and protective nature appeal to all women in some capacity.  The books are exquisite – the movies are good.  It’s fun to watch one of your favorite books come to the screen, even if it misses the mark by a smidge.  By the way…TEAM EDWARD.  Just Sayin’.

Thanks baby, for the vagina monologue.

Maria’s Rating: 3.75 out of 5 Gummy Bears. (And 4 out of 5 for the entire saga!)

Ross’ Rating: 3.25 Gummies.